Sheen admits he juiced
Bet this one wasn’t in the Mitchell Report: Now even actor Charlie Sheen is claiming he used steroids, back in 1989, to beef himself up for his pitching role as Ricky (Wild Thing) Vaughn in Major League. “Baseball has reached a new low,” wrote Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) Times-dispatch. “Even its fictional heroes are tainted.” Start counting: A man walked into a bank in Milford, Mass., and paid off his mortgage with 62,000 pennies. “So,” asked the perceptive teller, “I take it you play for the Padres?” Collaring the market: Michael Vick is about to market his own line of clothing. Here’s guessing the offerings won’t include any pants for postal carriers. Winning cards: Hear about that box of pristine, 100-yearold baseball cards discovered in an Ohio attic that could be worth millions of dollars? Appraisers can’t decide which rare find is more valuable – the mint-condition Honus Wagner, or the Jamie Moyer rookie card. Just say neigh: The NFL filed court papers alleging that Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams tried to manipulate a drug test, possibly with nonhuman urine. So, in addition to his six-game NFL ban, he’s been declared ineligible for next year’s Kentucky Derby. Belated fireworks: Two days after the Fourth of July, Ray Allen agreed to leave the Celtics and join the Heat. Thus validating that old American bromide – life, liberty and the pursuit of South Beach. Headline of the week: At Sportspickle.com: “Female tennis players finally pass painful kidney stone.” Prediction: Forget the yellow jersey. This year’s crashfilled Tour de France will be the first to finish under a yellow flag. Name game: Think headline writers aren’t salivating at the thought of Pitt recruit Chris Blewitt missing a crucial kick? Lost & Found Dept.: “We’ve finally found the missing piece!” was famously uttered last week in reference to: a) The Higgs boson particle b) Steve Nash. Take 2: How key lines from sports movies would be different if they were filmed today, from Sportspickle.com – Rocky: “I got big plans, Adrian. I want to be the greatest UFC fighter of all time.” – Bad News Bears: “Good news, Bears. This league doesn’t keep score because losing is bad for self-esteem. So we’re all winners. Yay!” – Rudy: “You’re better than this place, kid. You have the talent to walk on at a Big East school.” A rose for you: Janice Hough of LeftcoastsportsBabe.com, on Kobe Bryant, Lebron James and Chris Paul trying to woo free agents to their teams: “This isn’t an offseason; it’s the NBA version of The Bachelor.” Kicking it into gear: Ex-Florida State coach Bobby Bowden was the official starter for Saturday night’s NASCAR race at Daytona. For some strange reason, all of the cars started veering wide right.