Leave mother-in-law’s home as soon as possible

Dear Annie: I’ve been out of work for two years. My family has suffered, and my daughter’s mild depression turned severe when this started affecting her life.

Recently, my in-laws were kind enough to let the three of us move in so we could save what little we have. But the summer could not have gone worse. My mother-in-law has turned into a bully. She doesn’t approve of how I raise my daughter and has been taking it out on the child. Mom calls her hurtful names and has told her that all of our financial problems are her fault. My husband has spoken to his mother numerous times, and I have, as well. But she is stubborn.

My daughter has a history of self-harm and low self-esteem, so we began to work on alternative living situations. Sadly, I know the best place for my daughter right now is not with her stepfather and me. I’ve been the one to support her and be there her whole life. Now she’s living with her biological father, and it breaks my heart. He’s a good dad, but I feel like I let her down.

I am having a hard time forgiving my mother-in-law. I understand that our conflicting parenting styles can be hard on her. But I can’t understand why she’s taking it out on my daughter. — Mother in Mud Dear Mother: You made the right choice to get your daughter out of the home of your bullying mother-in-law. While we would have recommended that your husband put his foot down a little harder, apparently neither of you could set bound- aries that stick. Until this situation is resolved, it may not be possible to forgive the woman. Find a way to get out of there as soon as possible. Dear Annie: I’ve been with “Hank” for what seems like a hundred years. He is an alcoholic and a drug user. Last year, he was in and out of several rehabs. None worked.

While in rehab, he relapsed and was kicked out, along with several others. I refused to pick him up, so all of them stayed in a hotel room together. While there, Hank used one of the other addicts (a female) to get drugs and alcohol. He promised her that they were going to be together.

Hank is a great father to our children, but I can’t let this go. He claims there was no affair, but I don’t believe it. It is weighing on my heart. How can I forgive him? — Lost Dear Lost: Addicts say and do whatever they have to in order to score what they need. Your problems are bigger than whether or not Hank slept with another woman. He may love his children, but he is a terrible role model. Until he gets clean and sober, he is no good to any of you. Please contact Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, and ask for help.