Show boyfriend proof of infidelity, then leave

Dear Annie: In the 20 years I’ve been with my partner, I’ve had suspicions that he’s cheated. Whenever I confront him, he becomes angry. So I bought mini digital voice recorders and left them on in the house whenever I’d leave for work. Lo and behold, my suspicions were correct.

My problem now is how to confront him with the proof. I’m not proud that I’ve been spying on him. But he would never own up to his cheating. I know he will be angry, but what he has done is wrong.

He keeps telling me we need to work on us. How is that possible when he makes a phone call to his “girlfriend” every morning after I leave for work?

— Had To Know Dear Had: Your boyfriend’s behaviour made you suspicious, so you took the step of finding proof. Stop berating yourself for doing a little private detective work. He will continue to make excuses and try to put the blame on you. Tell him what you discovered, show him the proof, and tell him it’s over. And mean it. Dear Annie: I’m responding to “Enough,” the 57-year-old man who has been divorced for 26 years and hasn’t dated for three. He is adamant that he will date only women he finds attractive (translation: not fat), but his family feels he is cutting himself off from some very nice women.

I am a 52-year-old female, divorced for two years and built like a plus-size model. I am intelligent, witty, neat, well dressed, make a decent living and am told I am pretty. I had one blind date with a man I met through an online dating service. We had emailed each other for a week and chatted on the phone several times. I figured we had had such great conversations that my looks wouldn’t matter. I was wrong. He said there was no “spark.” I then tried to hire a professional matchmaker, but she said it’s hard finding men willing to date women who wear a size larger than 12.

While I have no interest in a man who would summarily dismiss me as a potential date solely based on my size, I am beginning to wonder where all the real men are. There have to be some decent guys out there who are not so shallow and ignorant.

— Plus-Sized Good Catch Dear Catch: In all fairness, being attracted to someone is not insignificant. But just as beautiful people can seem ugly if they have rotten personalities, a person of any size can become attractive by discovering a kind, warm, funny, intelligent human being inside. The problem is, few people are willing to let those relationships blossom. Dear Readers: Happy Halloween. Please dress your trickor-treaters in flame-retardant costumes that don’t obstruct walking or vision, and be sure to accompany them.