Don’t let TV be the one to tell your child about sex
Dear Annie: I have an 11-yearold daughter, and I feel she may know more about the “birds and bees” than she should because of what she sees on TV and hears on the radio.
It seems that every time I turn on the radio, we hear a song with the word “sex” in it multiple times. When we watch TV (even so-called family shows on familyoriented channels), we see people passionately kissing or using words like “penis” and “vagina.”
What do you think of sharing information about sex with preteens?
—Mom
Dear Mom: By the time a child is 11, she should know plenty about the birds and the bees, presumably because her parents have explained things to her. And she should also know the correct terms for parts of the anatomy, including the private parts.
Parents often wait to discuss these things with their kids, not only because they are uncomfortable doing so, but also because they believe their children don’t need this information until they are older and educating them will somehow encourage them to have sex. This is not true. It only means your child will get his or her sexual information from unreliable and misleading sources — friends, the Internet, songs on the radio and messages on TV. Teaching your child about sex, with your own moral values attached, will allow her to respond appropriately to situations when she encounters them—and she undoubtedly will.
When she hears something objectionable on TV or the radio, use it as an opportunity to explain your feelings on the subject. And you always have the option of changing the channel, setting parental controls or turning it off.
Dear Annie: In the three years that I’ve been with my boyfriend, I’ve become very close with his family. My boyfriend’s brother, “Scott,” has two children, ages 9 and 5. My concern is that they have no heat in their house. They say they periodically cannot afford the bill. Instead, they use space heaters in the bedrooms.
I get that the economy is tough, and I’m not saying I’ve never turned off my heat, but I don’t have young children. Their mother somehow manages to get her hair done at the salon every month, but the kids can’t play in the family room because it’s freezing. Is this considered neglect? I don’t want to jump to conclusions.
—Oregon
Dear Oregon: You are kind to be concerned about these kids. Assuming those space heaters are working properly and there are no fire hazards, however, they do not seem to be in any danger of hypothermia. Are they dressed warmly? Can they bundle up in lots of blankets? Do they have other places to go that are heated — the grandparents’ house, school, libraries, etc.? Your boyfriend also can inform his brother that Oregon, like other states, offers assistance with heating bills for low-income families.