Mister, make me an offer, then we’ll talk about dinner

» I couldn’t help but chuckle with bewilderment over my morning coffee upon reading “Millennials and the end of courtship,” the Jan. 19 article in The Gazette’s Weekend Life section.

The article says “hanging out” is replacing traditional dating, and attributes this change partly to “asynchronous communication,” such as texting and emailing. From what I gleaned from the article, both sexes are pretty much clueless in terms of initiating anything that might resemble a courtship/dating process.

But don’t blame it on technology. We all have a choice in terms of indulging in narcissistic/voyeuristic/exhibitionist/attention-seeking modes of expression such as Facebook, texting, sexting or whatever (and yes, I am not exempt from this myself, I admit). It is too easy to hide behind a screen rather than be accountable, responsible and authentic in our communications, in person or over the phone.

What I think is really lacking in this e-generation are basic core values of authentic communication, social skills, respect for others/self-respect and the acceptance that yes, men are from Mars, and women are from Venus — and that’s okay! We can celebrate our differences.

It is up to us to teach our daughters how to be selfrespecting women, and our sons how to be respectful men of integrity. Basic core values with a bit of old-fashioned embracing of one’s femininity or masculinity — there’s nothing wrong with that.

As a 40-year-old professional recently stepping back into the dating scene, nothing surprises me. My most recent invite was via email for dinner, on less than 24 hours’ notice, and the man (he doesn’t merit the word gentleman) wanted me to call him “to let him know otherwise” — which I did, in no uncertain terms, so that he would know how to treat a lady, for future reference.

Needless to say, he did not get to enjoy my company that evening! Bottom line: Ladies, act like a self-respecting lady. Don’t accept halfassed invites to hang out. You deserve to be asked out properly.

And gentlemen, act the part. Man up and pick up the phone and ask her out. If you’re comfortable with your masculinity, you will risk the possibility of rejection! Hiding behind texts and mails is cowardice. It’s lazy. It smacks of insecurity and disrespect for yourself and for the one you have your sights on.

Believe me, she will be grateful for the call, whether she is interested or not.

Gals, I invite you take a glimpse at Resurrecting Venus by Cynthia Occelli.

And guys, here’s one of my favourite websites: theartofmanliness.com.