Love can conquer all — except a saccharine script
And quite a few preposterous turns
There may be two Lasse Hallstroms floating around the film universe. The one many of us choose to admire is the Swede who made magic with such captivating and tender epics as My Life as a Dog, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Cider House Rules and Chocolat. Even Salmon Fishing in the Yemen had its poetic moments. None of the above could be classified as shlock.
Then there is the other Lasse Hallstrom, the one who sees something in the syrupy, bestselling prose of Nicholas Sparks. You would have thought this Hallstrom learned his lesson after directing the cloying Dear John. Evidently not.
Hallstrom has made a deal with the devil. Worse. Hallstrom has made a deal with Hallmark — metaphorically speaking — with his latest film, Safe Haven, based on another Sparks tear-jerker. In fact, to be fair to Hallmark Movies of the Week, the greeting card company might find this even a tad too mushy for mainstream television.
Safe Haven is shlock, purposely timed for release on Valentine’s Day. It is contrived and manipulative and hokey and oh so predictable. Suitors trying to win the hearts of loved ones this Valentine’s Day might have better luck impressing them with Bruce Willis in A Good Day to Die Hard, also opening on Valentine’s Day, which, one would imagine, is bereft of any pretence or cheap sentiment. (See review on Page A27).
From the get-go, viewers know what’s in store for them with Safe Haven. A barefoot, clearly terrified woman, her hands bloodied, runs out of a house in the middle of the night. Cut to fixated Boston cop, in the midst of a raging rainstorm, checking buses leaving town, in search of the woman.
She escapes. He is angry. She has cut her hair and dyed it blond. He is angrier, taking gulps of vodka out of his water bottle.
She emerges from a bus ride to nowhere with a new identity, Katie (Julianne Hough), and ends up in the sort of sleepy, bucolic coastal town that is ripe for an alien invasion or a return of Freddy Krueger. Wishful thinking.
Though Katie takes are mote place in the woods, no axe murderers or poltergeists show up for midnight snacks. Rather, she lands a job as a waitress at a lobster shack and in no time meets the town’s most eligible bachelor, Alex (Josh Duhamel), a single dad of two adorable kids who runs the general store.
But wait. There is a backstory of sorts.
Alex is still in mourning over his wife who passed away a year ago after a bout with cancer. He’s not certain he can ever love again.
And, clearly, Katie has issues. What with the midnight run and the bloodied hands and all. It would appear she is running from a brutal marriage. She’s not certain she can ever love again, either.
But Katie begins to bond with Alex and the kids. And they’re all so darned cute. And the next thing you know …
In the mean time, getting more and more flummoxed and soused is the fixated cop, Kevin Tierney (played by David Lyons) — with apologies to the Montreal filmmaker of the same name. He’s determined to track Katie down, come hell or whichever movie cliché you choose.
Safe Haven makes The Fugitive series looks like cinéma vérité.
And that’s before it takes a few more preposterous turns.
But, hey, Safe Haven is not meant to make sense. Its makers merely want to convey the message that love can conquer all, particularly on Valentine’s Day.
Maybe, but lovers would be far better off renting Hallstrom’s Chocolat, whose sugar content is far more palatable.