Husband spends time talking to younger woman

Dear Annie: I have been married to the love of my life for several years. Our children are all grown and out of the nest. I recently learned that over the past few months, my husband has had many telephone conversations with a female acquaintance.

I travel for work several times a month, and that’s when most of these conversations took place. My husband says they are “just friends,” that she’s young and looks to him for advice. Annie, she’s younger than I am, but not so young that she still needs advice from someone old enough to be her father.

Do you think this could be a case of “where there’s smoke there’s fire?” What should I do?

— Country Gal Dear Gal: There may not be fire, but only because you stomped it out. Your husband is not being forthcoming when he says they are “just friends.” The fact that most of these calls took place when you were out of town indicates he was hiding them, which means he is not so innocent in his intentions. Nothing may have happened, but he didn’t discourage her attentions or make their contact transparent to you. Tell him the “friendship” is over, or it’s time to see a marriage counsellor. Or an attorney. Dear Annie: In raising our children, we always stressed proper etiquette. However, we recently had lunch with one of our adult sons in a restaurant. He continued to talk with food in his mouth, placing his other hand about two inches away from his face.

After witnessing this a couple of times, I asked him to please not do that as it is not only rude, but, between the food and his hand, we couldn’t understand a word he was saying. He replied that it is rude if one doesn’t place their hand in front of their mouth while chewing. What happened to the rule “never talk with your mouth full?”

— Dismayed Parents Dear Parents: We are going to assume your son saw someone doing this and decided it was appropriate. It is not. One should chew with one’s mouth closed. One should swallow food before opening one’s mouth to speak. Dear Annie: Please pass this along to “Trying To Be a Stepdad,” whose wife doesn’t back him up when he refuses to buy the kids expensive things.

My ex-wife was exactly the same. Anytime I would try to teach our two sons that you can’t have everything you ask for, I would be disregarded. I served in the Navy, and the kids knew if I said “no,” the next time my ship went out to sea, their mother would get them whatever they wanted. The kids never had to work, save or wait for anything.

My oldest son and I don’t communicate because I don’t bail him out every time he needs money. My younger son and I have a good relationship because he understands why I am this way.

— Been There, Retired Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Visit www.creators.com to find out more about Annie’s Mailbox