Rumours reach a fever pitch as the world awaits royal birth
Rumours that the former Kate Middleton had gone into labour flashed across the Twitterverse late Friday afternoon.
It happened at the precise moment when the entrance to the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s Hospital was bathed in a sunbeam that was a photographer-friendly warm, golden hue. Alas, there was no royal baby to complete the picture — at least not yet.
The most telling sign that Friday’s baby buzz was a false alarm was that not a single photographer had mounted any of the 100-odd stepladders that have formed an aluminum forest in the media enclosures across the street from the Lindo Wing. It was also instructive that the BBC and none of the serious British broadsheets gave credence to the rumour that Kate was in labour.
What apparently happened was that Kate finally decided to move 80 kilometres from her sanctuary at her parents’ imposing mansion in Upper Buckleberry, Berkshire to the royal couple’s smallish flat in Kensington Palace. Royal watchers in the shire apparently misunderstood that to mean she was headed to St. Mary’s, Paddington.
In reality, it appears the Duchess of Cambridge, to use her official title, may have simply been repositioning herself to be much closer to the hospital for the day their baby finally arrives.
Many stories had Will at Kate’s side throughout the journey. A few said she was alone. Whichever it was, British law will give Queen Elizabeth’s grandson two weeks paid paternity leave from his work as a Sea King search-and-rescue pilot for the Royal Air Force.
Such details matter a lot to many Britons, but appear to be of even greater importance to the honchos at the American television networks, who often behave as if the Royal Family has been put on Earth for their viewers’ entertainment. A royal birth on Friday night in Britain would be better than one on a weekend. But a weekday birth that coincides with the breakfast shows would be a ratings bonanza.
Citing unnamed hospital sources, The London Daily Telegraph reported Friday that July 19 was the real due date of the royal baby and not July 13, as most of the media pack had previously believed. By The Telegraph’s reckoning, that meant that Kate might not give birth until Aug. 2.
Sticking to July 13 as the true due date, the hugely popular Daily Mail devoted half a page in Friday’s paper to ways that women could induce labour without having obstetricians or midwives intervene. Among the potential solutions offered was to eat an Indian curry, an aubergine smothered in Parmesan or a diet of dates. Sage oil used in massage was said to promote an easy birth, as would drinking tonic water for its quinine. And not for the first time that old standby, sex, was mentioned because semen contains prostaglandin, which in its synthetic form is said to induce labour.
Not to be outdone by itself, the Mail has advertised that it will publish a glossy magazine devoted to the royal baby on Saturday.
Whatever the actual due date and whether any of these remedies might be helpful, with Kate now back in London it is now almost certain that the apple of every monarchist’s eye will actually give birth at St. Mary’s.
Kate’s presence in the capital has put paid to a spate of recent stories about the possibility that if she went into labour in Buckleberry and the birth was fast, the royal motorcade might have to peel off to a hospital in Reading where — horror of horrors — the mother of the future monarch might have had to share a room.
Friday’s late drama was followed by a prank by the Sun tabloid. It had Kate and Will look-alikes visit the hospital, where they did a star turn for the newspaper’s royal baby cam. It was silly, but it helped break the tedium for the hugely skeptical royal media pack baking in unusually warm summer weather. It got them off their duffs, albeit for only a few minutes.
Frankly, the stunt was no more ridiculous than some of the reporting in OK!, a magazine that describes itself as “first for royal baby news.”
Among the exclusives in its current edition was that “William Is Itching To Spoil Kate Rotten” after the birth. It has been widely reported that the young couple will not employ a full-time nanny, but OK! says a maternity nurse from St. Mary’s will help at first. It also said that William, who has spoken of his intention to be a “hands-on dad,” would happily change diapers and that the couple will go on “date nights” once every fortnight after the little prince or princess is born.
Twitter, as has so often been the case, provided almost no credible news about the impending royal birth, but its contributors did produce a few good one-liners. Among them: “Doctors will be inserting the silver spoon into the baby’s mouth”; “No wonder the baby is late, it is being delivered by Royal Mail”; “Kate the Great, please dilate”; and “On Her Majesty’s secret cervix.”