Elias unveils election-comedy plans
REGISTERED TO JOKE features two francophones, two anglophones, an allophone, a visible minority and a Jew
Joey Elias is in a buoyant state. The King of the Montreal comedy scene — anglo division — is musing about how he is profiting from the current political and economic uncertainty in this province by having recently purchased homes in the city for peanuts. “Seriously, when else could a guy like me afford nine estates in Senneville?” he cracks.
Elias also has plans to peddle fine wines from Ontario liquor stores in this province, should Quebec separate and our crumbling bridges all fall down. His scheme involves canoeing in the plonk from Cornwall. “Then I’ll invest my profits — in Delaware.”
Ah, the fear and loathing and insecurity that marked the beginning of this electoral campaign for many local anglo comics has been replaced by a surreal state of frivolity and laughter — the insecurity never goes away. These are, essentially, golden times for many stand-ups here. The material almost writes itself.
Seriously, look at the fodder: be it Pauline’s push-off of PKP or the alleged holy war being percolated in the once-tranquil waters of Janette Bertrand’s luxury apartment swimming pool.
Elias and a few of his cronies are so pumped that they will be staging the revue Registered to Joke: A PreElection Show, Sunday at 8 p.m. at the Comedy Nest, wherein “some of Montreal’s most politically confused comedians sort through the hilarious mess that is Quebec politics.” Joining Elias will be a rich cultural mix, including Derek Séguin, Dave Morgan, Rodney Ramsey, Franco Taddeo and Peter J. Radomski. Magician Michel Huot will be on hand to cast an election spell. And hosting this freefor-all will be master of mirth Ted Bird, morning-man at 89.9 KIC Country Montreal.
“This show is going to be tons of fun,” Elias says, before changing his tune a tad. “Not to be funny, but my real hope is that one day we would have a party, not to stick up for just anglo rights, just for rights, period.”
“Look at Couillard,” Bird pipes in. “He actually brought up bilingualism. What, is he crazy? You can’t do that here if you want to win an election. Then he brought up distinct society. Whoa!”
“But we are distinct,” Elias interjects. “Where else would a guy like PKP come from? He’s got this great ’50s hairdo from an Eastern European country.”
“The seminal moment of the campaign came when he stood up there and clenched his fist and did his Je suis Che Guevara impression,” Bird adds. “I think that lost it for them right there and then. I was feeling really anxious before that, but between that and the Janette affair — there’s another gift from the comedy gods — I’m feeling pretty calm now.”
The hope of both Bird and Elias is that the election doesn’t result in another minority government.
“Then we’ll be doing this dance all over again in six months,” says Elias with a sigh. “Which is great for comedy, but not so much for anything else.”
“Just a little peace for a few years would be fine,” says Bird, who was born in Fredericton. “It doesn’t mean things will get any better. Just that they won’t get any s--ttier, and I won’t have to sell my house at a huge loss — if the bank doesn’t take it from me first.
“I’m not moving. You have to be mobile to move. I’ve been here for 30 years. I’m 55 years old in a business that’s looking for cheap, disposable labour.” Pause. “I like Fredericton, but my wife doesn’t. She says the only time she’s going back there is with me — in a pine box in a U-Haul. Nah, Montreal is our home.”
Elias is not gong anywhere, either. Apart from his gigs here as well as in other parts of the planet, he has a nightly comedy show on CJAD and runs a school for aspiring wits. Plus, he does land act- ing jobs on the local film, TV and advertising fronts. “I also wrote a TV pilot about a loudmouth comedian who gets in trouble and ends up on AM radio.”
“I should write a pilot about a loudmouth radio announcer who gets in trouble on the air and ends up working in comedy clubs,” Bird chimes in. “Hey, wait a sec … ”
“I’m not going to lie,” Elias, 42, says. “I had thought about leaving. I couldn’t understand when I was growing up here why all my cousins left. Now I understand — they have the common sense I missed out on. But then I say if I do leave, that’s exactly what some people want. So I’m not leaving. I want to deny them that pleasure.
“And to be honest, every day I’m provided with five minutes of new material. All I have to do is read the newspaper or listen to the radio and TV. Where else can I get that?”
But Bird points out what has caught the attention of other pundits about this particular political campaign. “I’ve lived through a lot of elections here before, but with this one I find the hyperbole has gone to a whole other level, especially in comparing the PQ to the Nazis.” Pause. “I mean I’ve lost count of the number of Nazis who’ve come up to me and said: ‘Hey, come on!’ ”
Bird, a keen student of history, wants to assure sensitive readers that he’s kidding, that he’s merely making a comedic point. But on this point he’s not kidding: “What I’ve learned from Quebec history is that we will be going through this over and over and over again. It’s cyclical — unless a new political movement takes root and that’s not likely to happen.”
Adds Elias: “Fact is that I’ve never seen the province this divided. Nobody is really certain which is the best party. No matter who wins this election, the charter of values will still be hanging over us.
“But the beauty of this (Registered to Joke) show is that it features two franco- phones, two anglophones, an allophone, a visible minority and a Jew — all completely confused but all coming together for a noble cause: comedy.”
Registered to Joke: A PreElection Show, takes place Sunday at 8 p.m. at the Comedy Nest, 2313 Ste. Catherine St. W. Performing will be Joey Elias, Derek Séguin, Dave Morgan, Rodney Ramsey, Franco Taddeo Peter J. Radomski and magician Michel Huot. Host is Ted Bird. Tickets: $15; $12 for students. Call 514-9326378.