Literature that’s short and tweet

Arjun Basu’s personal Twitter account — arjunbasu — is both popular (162,000 followers and counting) and acclaimed for the literary eloquence Basu manages to squeeze into Twitter’s 140-character-per-tweet limit. We asked Basu to share with us 10 of his favourite tweets:

The bird fell from the sky and landed at their feet. He wasn’t ready to teach his kids about death. So he told them the bird was just stupid.

I asked her to dance. She thanked me and said she was flattered, but she declined. I had to ask her why. She said, This is a grocery store.

They stopped the car and tore off their clothes and ran into the lake and were quickly eaten by a mythical creature that no one believed in.

Her mother warned her it was true. And after the hamster’s eyes popped out, the daughter learned it was possible to love something to death.

He sees her across the street and his life changes. She’s everything he’s ever imagined. He waits for the light to turn green. It never does.

There is drinking and flirting and then they’re up in his hotel room and she rips off his shirt and he says, Man, I really liked that shirt.

He cuts his tongue licking an envelope. Then bites it chewing gum. And burns it drinking coffee. That night his girlfriend calls him useless.

I left the others and went upstairs. To fart extrava- gantly. And then I returned downstairs. To silence. We know what you did, my wife said.

The music swells and drowns her out. I watch her lips move. I know what she’s saying because I’ve heard it before. I wish I liked this song.

He believed in destiny. He grew up certain of this. But when the woman of his dreams walked by, he was too busy composing the perfect tweet.