Husband must end relationship with boy

Dear Annie: I am 40 years old and have been married to “Rick” for 19 years. We have four beautiful daughters.

For years, Rick wanted a son. I thought he had accepted that it wasn’t going to happen, so I didn’t protest when he formed a friendship with a 10-year-old fatherless neighbour boy. “Drew” is now 13, and he’s a great kid — kind, respectful and helpful.

Rick and Drew are always doing things together — going to ball games, riding bikes, playing basketball. At first, I thought it was great, but now I have some major concerns. About a year ago, Drew started stopping by on his way to school to get his “morning hug” from Rick. I used to think it was cute, but now it’s just annoying. Then Rick insisted on including Drew in every family outing.

But here is the real problem: Two weeks ago, our oldest daughter said she’s been spying on her father, and he is always hugging Drew and kissing him on the mouth, and that sometimes when I’m not home, they go into our bedroom and lock the door.

I confronted Rick, and he admitted to the hugging and kissing, but said Drew is just very affectionate. He even confessed to taking Drew into the bedroom and locking the door, but insists they were only talking.

Frankly, I don’t know what to think. Something is not right. Is it possible that my husband and this boy are having sex?

— Worried Wife Dear Worried: It is more than possible. It is likely. Even if they aren’t sexually involved, this is a worrisome situation and not healthy for anyone. You must insist that Rick and Drew separate physically, as well as emotionally. No more morning kisses, no more outings alone, no more trips to the bedroom. The two of them cannot be left alone, even for one second. This may be traumatizing for Drew, so Rick can explain, in your presence, that he needs to spend more time with his daughters. You also could contact Big Brothers so Drew can find a more appropriate father figure.

If Rick refuses to co-operate, are you willing to turn him in to the authorities as a suspected pedophile? (You can do this anonymously.) Would Rick be willing to get counselling as a condition of remaining in the marriage? (We’d insist on that.) Act on this immediately. You may be the only person who can protect that boy. Dear Annie: When I go out to eat, restaurants always have artificial sweetener and often nondairy creamer. What I do not find is a non-dairy substitute for butter. Please spread this message so stores and restaurants will see it and offer this item.

— Non-dairy in Wisconsin Dear Non-dairy: Most places will provide margarine if you request it. If you want something else (soy butter), you will have a harder time. If you patronize the same places often and ask each time, they may begin to offer these items. Try it.