Week 1 of your fall TV season (in 10 words)
Here is a list of the new television series premièring each day this week, as well as the returning shows. Saturday, you’ll note, has no new series. But you’ll need to rest up for Sunday’s usual overdose. I’ve limited myself to 10-word descriptions for each new show, as an homage to how many minutes I will give each. There’s a lot of new TV. Be ruthless.
MONDAY, SEPT. 21
The Muppets (City, 8 p.m.; repeating Sept. 22 on ABC, 8 p.m.): Kermit is dating a puppet named Denise (no kidding). Boss.
Life in Pieces (CBS, 8:30 p.m.): Modern Family clone starring James Brolin and Dianne Wiest. Possibilities.
Minority Report (Global, Fox, 9 p.m.): Detective partners with pre-cog (fancy clairvoyant) to solve murders. Meh.
Blindspot (CTV, 9 p.m.; NBC, 10 p.m.): Girl awakes, discovers unplanned tattoos. If I had a dollar ...
Returning:
Big Bang Theory (CTV, 7:30 p.m.; CBS, 8 p.m.) Gotham (CTV, Fox, 8 p.m.) The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.) Scorpion (City, CBS, 9 p.m.) NCIS: Los Angeles (Global, CBS, 10 p.m.)
Castle (CTV, ABC, 10 p.m.)
TUESDAY, SEPT. 22
Scream Queens (Fox, 8 p.m.; City 9 p.m.): Horror, hilarity at bitchy sorority. Jamie Lee Curtis. So yes.
Limitless (Global, CBS, 10 p.m.): Guy takes pill, gets smart, blabs. Bradley Cooper gets angry.
Returning:
NCIS (Global, CBS 8 p.m.) Fresh Off the Boat (ABC, 8:30 p.m.)
NCIS: New Orleans (Global, CBS, 9 p.m.)
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 23
Rosewood (Fox, 8 p.m.): Medical examiner has cardiac issues, great clothes, cranky partner. Romance?
Returning:
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.) The Mysteries of Laura (NBC, 8 p.m.) Survivor (Global, CBS, 8 p.m.) The Goldbergs (CTV, ABC, 8:30 p.m.) Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.) Empire (City, 8 p.m.; Fox, 9 p.m.) Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9 p.m.) Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.) Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.)
THURSDAY, SEPT. 24
Heroes Reborn (Global, NBC, 8 p.m.): Heroes, paranoia and conspiracy still thriving. Cue creepy piano music.
The Player (NBC, 10 p.m.): Wesley Snipes hires security expert, scowls. Ridiculous plot unfolds stylishly.
Returning:
Grey’s Anatomy (CTV, ABC, 8p.m.) Scandal (ABC, 9 p.m.) Saving Hope (CTV, 9 p.m.) How to Get Away with Murder (CTV, ABC, 10 p.m.)
FRIDAY, SEPT. 25
Returning:
The Amazing Race (CTV, CBS, 8 p.m.) Last Man Standing (ABC, 8 p.m.) Hawaii Five-O (Global, CBS, 9 p.m.)
Blue Bloods (CTV, CBS, 10 p.m.)
SATURDAY, SEPT. 26
American Dream/American Knightmare (The Movie Network, 10:45 p.m.): If you liked the rap biopic Straight Outta Compton, Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) takes a documentary look into the life of Death Row Records co-founder Suge Knight, through archival film and recent interviews.
SUNDAY, SEPT. 27
Blood & Oil (CTV, ABC, 9 p.m.): “Sometimes you have to play dirty to get filthy rich.”
Quantico (CTV, ABC, 10 p.m.): One deadly bad apple among the very attractive FBI recruits.
Returning:
Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 7:30 p.m.) Once Upon a Time (CTV, ABC, 8 p.m.)
The Simpsons (Global, Fox, 8 p.m.)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox, 8:30 p.m.) Family Guy (Fox, 9 p.m.) The Last Man on Earth (Fox, 9:30 p.m.)
Ending:
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation wraps up its 15-year run with a two-hour movie (CBS, 8-10 p.m.) and the return of William Petersen and Marg Helgenberger.
Bridget’s extracurricular activities get Ray’s full attention on Ray Donovan (The Movie Network, 9 p.m.) and Libby and Bill’s work is jeopardized on Masters of Sex (The Movie Network, 10 p.m.) as both returning series wrap up their seasons tonight.
That’s it for me this week. Got a question?
Find me, tell me. And as always, you would do well to check my daily Watchers picks on the Montreal Gazette’s smartphone app in the iTunes and Play stores.