The biggest television première week. Ever.
MOVIES
Big releases on Sept. 25: The Intern; Hotel Transylvania 2
Big picture: Robert De Niro plays Ben, a 70-year-old widower and retiree who improbably becomes the intern — and “best friend” — of Jules (Anne Hathaway), the Big 30-something founder of a trendy online fashion site. Cue the obligatory scenes about Jules teaching Ben about social media, and him teaching her about ... well, everything else in life. Ben also demonstrates “how to be a real man” for all the scruffy, hipster schlubs around the office. You have to give Hollywood some credit: five years ago, De Niro would have still played Hathaway’s love interest — and you would have had to chardonnay yourself to sleep at night to get that image out of your head. Meanwhile, the animated Hotel Transylvania returns for a sequel that finds “Vampa” Drac running an openly humanfriendly hotel while putting his half-vampire grandson through an inept monster boot camp. These are monsters truly living in an age of acceptance — until old-school bigotry visits in the form of great granddad Vlad.
Forecast: Two tales about old-timers — one a wise progressive, and another whose views are so ancient they might predate the Stone Age. The elderly edge goes to The Intern.
TV
Mega event: Heroes Reborn (Sept. 24, NBC/Global): I’ve added an upper tier thanks to one of the biggest TV première weeks. Ever. The superhero drama returns for a miniseries as creator Tim Kring looks to avoid the creative kryptonite that destroyed the original. This rebirth find “enhanced humans” being hunted down and killed. Expect a lot of new “heroes,” but the returning cast includes Jack Coleman, Masi Oka and Sendhil Ramamurthy. First 24? Now this? And soon The X-Files? The reboot trend is here to stay! I’m hoping for a reset on Cheers, headlined by George Wendt, in which the Boston bar has been turned into a taco/craft brew joint for hipsters. Only Norm’s bar stool remains untouched by renos — because he never left.
events: Minority Report (Sept. 21, Fox/Global); Limitless (Sept. 22, CBC/Global); The Player (Sept. 24, NBC); Blood & Oil (Sept. 27, ABC/CTV)
Big picture: Heroes isn’t the only thing being reborn. Minority Report picks up in 2065 (after the events of 2002’s Tom Cruise film). The Precrime program has been abolished, but one pre-cog (Stark Sands) lives off the grid — and visions of murders still dance in his head. After he secretly partners with a police officer (Meagan Good), you worry this sci-fi vehicle could stall in buddy cop cliché. Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes stars in The Player — which is essentially Minority Report set in the present, if Precrime were financed by a wealthy circle of major gambling addicts. Snipes plays their pit boss, hiring a former military operative (Philip Winchester) to stop crimes before they happen, all so his powerful buddies can place bets on the outcome. (My wager is it won’t last five episodes.) Then there’s Limitless, based on the forgettable 2011 Bradley Cooper film. Jack McDorman plays a different handsome, generic, white guy with drug-enhanced mental abilities. And finally, Blood & Oil resurrects both Don Johnson’s career and ’80s drama Dallas — more-or-less re-setting that sudsy, oily drama in North Dakota.
Forecast: This is a trick question. The real “big event” this week is the small-screen return of The Muppets (Sept. 22, ABC/City) in a behind-the-scenes, mockumentarystyle series.