WE’RE ONLY AT THE DAWN OF THIS NEW AGE OF DRONES
Look, up in the sky! ... It’s a bird. ... It’s a plane! — No! ... It’s a drone!
It may not be long before we all have our own drone, a remotecontrolled mini-aircraft that’s becoming a regular sight in our skies.
I encountered my first one in Toronto early this year, at ex-Montrealer Moses Znaimer’s “Idea City” — a cutting edge conference where a two-foot-long robot helicopter whizzed amazingly about overhead, taking 400 peoples’ photos, as we all waved wackily at the sky.
Back then it seemed like scifi, but suddenly it’s becoming routine. In recent times I’ve seen flimsy remote-controlled drones hovering over a bar mitzvah, and whirling over the Côte-St-Luc Tennis Club and the Mount Royal lookout.
I’ve read about drones crashing into apartment buildings, falling on peoples’ heads and crashlanding on the White House lawn. Not to mention a drone that narrowly missed colliding with a passenger plane at London’s Heathrow Airport.
Yet we’re only at the dawn of this new age of drones. Amazon lists many models selling for under $100 and this Christmas, toy stores are expected to sell millions — so every 4-year-old, or 84-year-old can own his own drone.
We spent half a century talking about flying cars that never arrived — who guessed we’d be flying our own robot aircraft instead, just to take pictures of ourselves?
The drone craze is driven largely by the selfie obsession — our compulsion to take our own photo and post it online. Everywhere you look people are posting selfies — beside landmarks, beside friends or just naked by their bathtub.
It’s created a growing fad for “selfie sticks” — to hold your phone up in the air and get a better shot of yourself. Visit any landmark in Europe, or especially Asia and your view will be blocked by a forest of selfie sticks held up high — battling it out for the best “me-and-the-landmark” angle.
But drones now promise the ultimate selfie, taken by flying cameras that follow you around like your own paparazzi, snapping your picture wherever you go. Look online and you’ll see endless gorgeous drone shots of people hiking on mountain peaks, or remote beaches — while waving at the sky.
Just toss one in the air and it follows you jogging, canoeing, skiing, eating, watching TV or sleeping — as the selfie becomes the “dronie”.
Time magazine predicts drones will soon be following us around 24/7, recording every moment of our hum-drone lives. One company is close to releasing a watch that launches itself off your wrist to take aerial shots of you — then returns and lands on your arm like a falcon.
In California, drones are so common they’ve passed a law banning people from using them to spy on celebrities — since paparazzi have fleets of drones to secretly film Hollywood stars. As well, the last Super Bowl was ruled a “no drone zone.”
But it’s still the Wild West here in Canada where you don’t need a permit to fly one. The only rules are Transport Canada “guidelines” that urge you not to fly one near airports or busy residential zones — or presumably inside crowded shopping malls.
There’s also lots of buzz about commercializing drones. Amazon.com wants to use them to deliver packages — so you’d open your door and find a tiny hovering mini-copter announcing: “Delivery drone! I have a package for Mr. Jenkins, containing ... his new drone! Now please step back and keep your limbs clear of my blades.”
It’s easy to imagine a sky full of Amazon drones crashing into FedEx drones, Wal-Mart drones and Pendeli’s Pizza drones — while environmental cleanup drones pick up the pieces. We may all eventually have to wear anti-drone helmets.
The biggest user so far is the military, which wages drone warfare — launching murderous, drone bombers to “neutralize” targets on the far end of the world.
They’re also used for covert surveillance because drones can spy on people from 10,000 feet up. All spooks do is slip a coin-sized homing device onto your car and a drone can secretly follow you, filming invisibly from the sky.
They have telescopic lenses and ultra-red cameras to shoot pictures through your windows at night — so soon, you may never really be home alone, without a drone.
If uncontrolled, the future is ominous. There will be espionage drones and detective drones to tail your spouse, or you — as well as TV news camera drones, police surveillance drones, Peeping Tom drones and poutine delivery drones.
Not to mention anti-drone drones to follow and film other drones filming you.
Until then, look out for any flying Christmas gifts taking dronies of you by your backyard pool. We’re all becoming unwilling players in this creepy new Game of Drones.