BET ON CANADA’S NHL TEAMS ... TO WIN THE DRAFT
Items that may grow up to be columns, Vol. XVIII, Chapter 4:
THE DEAD POOL
As of Tuesday morning, sportsclubstats.com was listing the Vancouver Canucks as the Canadian club with the best chance of qualifying for the Stanley Cup playoffs at 12.5 per cent. The Canucks, baby. Still No. 1. Of course, if not for those pesky interlopers in Buffalo and Columbus, we in Canada would have the entire outhouse to ourselves in the NHL standings, but instead we must settle for 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th, 29th and 30th.
The Maple Leafs, at .08 per cent, are the longest shots.
On the bright side, odds of one the Canadian squads winning the Auston Matthews sweepstakes are fantastic. Maybe the Oilers; they’re due for a break.
SCOTTY, IT’S TREV. CALL ME
No? Scott Bowman is not coming out of retirement and thinking of renting a piano crate in Vancouver for $5,000 a month in order to test his mettle behind the bench of the mighty Canucks?
It’s just as well, because not even hockey’s greatest-ever coach could nursemaid this thoroughly mediocre lineup into the playoffs. So just stop all this “Fire Willie” nonsense.
Willie Desjardins, were he to speak freely, might channel the old Dutch soccer coach Hans Kraay, who once said of his Edmonton NASL team: “I cannot teach rabbits to give milk.” Kraay also said: “Don’t shoot me, boys, I’m playing the piano as fast as I can.”
SAY THE
‘R’ WORD
But Desjardins is biting the bullet and being the good company man while the Canucks rebuild without actually uttering the word. He’s using half-a-dozen skaters every game — and not always the same half-dozen — who are either not yet of NHL calibre or were once but are no longer.
Injuries to the centre who helped camouflage their deficiencies, Brandon Sutter, and the linchpin of the defence, Alex Edler, have merely spared the Canucks a closer shave in the playoff race before either narrowly missing or squeaking in and getting obliterated in the first round.
UNTOUCHABLES
How many of Desjardins’ troops could be thus characterized? One? Bo Horvat?
Maybe you don’t want to let go of defenceman Ben Hutton and Chris Tanev, either, and maybe you think goalie Jacob Markstrom is a build-around guy, especially with Thatcher Demko in the pipeline. Maybe you’ve seen enough of Jake Virtanen to think he’s the real deal. Maybe Jannik Hansen, and the wheels and heart he still has left. And probably you know that, despite their magical nights coming less and less frequently, Henrik and Daniel Sedin are likely too big an investment, with the accompanying roster overhaul that would be required, for another team to take on, even if they agreed to go (sacrilege, I know). But really, that’s it. A team determined to tear down and rebuild would listen to offers for anyone and everyone else.
PRE-CAREY-OUS
Arguably the greatest beforeand-after snapshot of this NHL season is that of the Montreal Canadiens’ fortunes with, and then without, Carey Price.
Not only does his seasonending injury totally justify the goaltender’s selection as Canada’s 2015 male athlete of the year, given how pathetic the Habs have been in his absence, he has inspired one of the season’s most entertaining Internet memes. Via @FredPoulin98, it’s titled: “The Habs’ season in one .gif.” Here’s the link, if you need a good laugh (pic.twitter.com/lkDQi3kQjE). If you’re a Canadiens fan, it beats crying.
TO HAB AND HAB NOT
Whatever is beyond “humbling,” that is what has befallen the Canadiens since they rolled into Vancouver 9-0-0 to start the season and we were quizzing Michel Therrien on the fact that no Toe Blake or Scotty Bowman team had ever started a season better than 4-0.
No one was calling Therrien a genius, precisely, and we all understood a major correction was inevitable, but it was pretty well conceded the coach was doing a bang-up job.
Less than four months later, he has few defenders and the calls for his head are growing daily in volume. It’s embarrassing for the organization to go into such a free-fall with only the loss of a terrific goalie to blame for it.
A bona fide contender would suck it up and carry on.
GET ME REWRITE, GLADYS
Readers of the Washington Post’s American League preview yesterday would have been surprised to see the following capsule on the Toronto Blue Jays’ off-season changes.
“Significant additions: SP David Price, SP Mark Buehrle, C Dioner Navarro, OF Ben Revere, RP Mark Lowe, RP LaTroy Hawkins, GM Alex Anthopoulos.
“Significant losses: RP Drew Storen, SP J.A. Happ, RP Jesse Chavez, RP David Aardsma, OF Junior Lake, GM Ross Atkins.”
Blue Jay fans would take that trade in a heartbeat. Alas, the headings are reversed.