Balancing kids’ safety and self-reliance
How young is too young to let children stay home by themselves?
It’s March. Spring break is over. Easter weekend is on the horizon. Like many parents, my husband and I are starting to look at the calendar and figure out what to do with our offspring over the summer months. Now that the youngest is in kindergarten, we have two who will need care for chunks of the holidays.
My eldest will be 10 in July. He’s a pretty level-headed kid. He understands the rules: never open the door to strangers, no unsupervised computer use, don’t set the house on fire — that kind of thing. He knows how to call 911 in case of emergency and what to do if he gets locked out of the house. He’s certainly capable of foraging in the kitchen for snacks. The question is whether he’s old enough to fend for himself for a morning or afternoon here and there.
Fostering a sense of selfreliance in my kids is important to me. So is keeping them safe and secure. Striking that balance isn’t always easy. There are legal and moral factors at play when making these decisions.
In Quebec, there is no legal age for leaving children unsupervised at home. In fact, a 2015 study of child welfare legislation across all 13 Canadian jurisdictions found that only three provinces have a minimum age at which children can be left at home alone. Yet a number of high-profile cases in both Canada and the United States have left parents worrying about the legal repercussions of leaving their children unsupervised while they go to work. One example is the recent case in B.C., where the courts ruled that an 8-yearold child was too young to be left alone after school for two hours.
Of course, age is not the only consideration. A child’s maturity level and willingness to take on responsibility factor in. So does having trust in your community. We’re lucky to live in a neighbourhood where we know our neighbours and many of the local business owners. As a parent, that kind of social economy is a huge factor in letting my kids have as much freedom as they can handle.
All this being said, there are many excellent day camps on offer in and around Montreal. But as we know, this can start to add up after a while. Sleepaway camps are an option — and an opportunity for kids to cultivate independence, memories and lifelong friendships — but keep in mind that a one- or two-week stint can cost thousands of dollars per child. Not all working parents can afford this. Not all of us want to put our kids in camp all summer; some of us want to buck the trend of highly programmed summers, where all of our children’s daily activities are preplanned and co-ordinated by adults.
Many parents feel a great deal of social pressure not only to keep their kids safe, but also occupied. The worry is that if left to their own devices they’ll do all kinds of things we don’t want them doing. Or they’ll get bored.
For the record, I have no problem with this one.
When I was a pre-teen, my family lived in the suburbs of southern Ontario. My family did a lot of camping and travelling in the summers but other than that, I don’t remember my parents co-ordinating my holiday time. I spent a lot of time just hanging around with friends. Sure, sometimes we got bored, but that was OK. We figured it out. I have faith that kids today can figure it out for themselves too, if we let them.
Let’s face it. Ensuring the safety and well-being of our children while balancing work commitments is a juggling act year round. Good luck with the summertime planning, fellow parents.