Montreal Gazette

Mending a broken heart

- Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators. com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonist­s, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Dear Annie:

Last year, I got out of a 10-year relationsh­ip. I thought she was the love of my life — until she cheated on me with one of my friends. Lately, I’ve been on a few dates with this girl — let’s call her Lauren — and she is amazing. She’s so beautiful and talented and kind. Just being around her makes me feel like a better person. I want to take things to the next level, but there’s something holding me back.

I’m not sure I can bring myself to trust someone with my emotions ever again. This girl has set off no red flags, yet I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. How do people ever move on after such dramatic breakups? In My Shell

Dear Shell:

Risk is what makes trust possible. It’s the gap that lets us take a leap of faith. If there weren’t the possibilit­y of falling, the feeling of landing safely on the other side would mean very little. That’s not to say we should jump into relationsh­ips recklessly or walk through life blindfolde­d. This new woman has given every indication that she is worthy of your trust. Go for it.

Dear Annie:

I am 20 years old and have been best friends with this girl since we were 5. She’s practicall­y my sister.

She’s engaged to a guy she began dating back in high school. Although he is very nice and genuinely cares for her, he does not seem at all mature enough to be married. After a single semester at a local community college, he left to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. He lives with his grandmothe­r and works at Target.

A little under two years ago, they broke up for about two months because he had objections whenever she hung out with any males not related to her. Despite his insisting he trusted her, it was clear he didn’t. One night after they had gotten back together, my friend called me sobbing because he had been jealous and said hurtful things again.

I’m worried that my friend is being naive. She has said she would marry him tomorrow if she could, although she plans on waiting till she is out of school. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I can tell that she’s trying to make me like the guy better. I fear that she’s making a mistake. Is there any way for me to express my concerns without destroying this cherished relationsh­ip? Looking Out

Dear Looking Out:

It’s heartbreak­ing to see friends treated poorly by significan­t others. All we ever want to do is to jump in, pull them out of the situation and make sure they never go back. If only it were that easy. You’re wise to understand it’s not.

The best thing you can do is to continue being there for her, ready to listen whenever she’s ready to talk, willing to give honest input if and when she asks for it. She’s lucky to have you.

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