Husband’s standup routine wears thin
Dear Annie: It was my husband’s sense of humour that first attracted me to him. He was one of the funniest people I had ever met. But now, five years into our marriage, the constant comedy routine has gotten old. He’s never “off.” The jokes just keep on coming.
I’ll be telling him about my day, and he’ll take some detail and run with it, creating some humorous hypothetical situation. When we have company over, it’s even worse because he has an audience. Everyone laughs at his jokes, and they tell me how funny he is. They’re not the ones who have to live with a partner who seems more interested in doing a standup monologue than having an actual conversation. How can I get him to be a bit more serious? Mrs. Jester
Dear Mrs. Jester: Humour is a great way to break the ice in the beginning of a relationship, and it also helps maintain a sense of levity and playfulness in the long term. But constant joking can grate on a partner and get in the way of intimacy, as you’ve found.
It’s possible he suffers from witzelsucht, a rare neurological condition that causes people to wisecrack 24/7, but more likely he’s just a bit of a ham. He’s gotten used to relating to people this way. He probably doesn’t even realize how incessant it is.
Gently point it out to him and explain how it’s affecting you. He should make an effort to cut back on jokes. Come up with some sort of signal you can use if he starts going into standup mode. Like any habit, it can be broken.
Dear Annie: I am hosting a neighbourhood party for a fairly well-to-do neighbourhood. I have done this once before, and it was received pretty well. But this time, I am getting no RSVPs. The party is less than a week away, and I have heard from only three out of 30 invited households.
One neighbour suggested calling others to see whether they are coming, but that seems like begging to me. This is probably my last event, as proper etiquette seems to be gone. Any suggestions? Anxious Host
Dear Anxious: There’s no good reason for 27 of 30 invited households to blow you off this way — that is, unless everyone got food poisoning at last year’s luncheon. (And really, even then, they should send their regrets this year, not just leave you hanging.)
People these days do seem to be a lot worse at anything that involves the gargantuan effort of putting something in the mail. You should see how many letters I get about thank-you notes (or the lack thereof ). It’s discourteous and disappointing.