It’s time to embrace city’s daring, inflated dreams

Montreal is building an actual trial balloon.

When renovation of Ste-Catherine St. starts in early 2018, the street will be bubble-wrapped in a giant, inflatable tunnel to protect pedestrians from the chaos of construction.

It will be covered by a 30-foothigh, balloon-like roof — like something from an old Star Trek episode. Welcome to Planet SteCatherine — and its new Chunnel.

Many people I’ve heard from are skeptical about this Rube Goldberg contraption, but I love the idea. It’s daring, imaginative and possibly crazy in a city that hasn’t been daring for decades.

Also, there’s no other hope for Ste-Catherine St. We’ve lived through the (de)construction of The Main — where never-ending, mismanaged repairs practically murdered the street.

We’re living through St-Denis St.’s re-construction, which the city is managing much better. They’ve even built several blocks of bright-red, wooden terrasses and benches, to attract shoppers during construction.

But to no avail. When you visit St-Denis you can’t escape the noise, the dust, or the maze of planks, fences, railings, pits, barriers, bulldozers and endless orange cones — an obstacle course that scares shoppers away.

You can’t escape the endless “À louer” signs on every third building — once-thriving stores that are now ghosts. The city has tried its best, but St-Denis feels like St-Laurent Blvd. — renovated and ruined.

Now comes Ste-Catherine St., the Grand Dame of downtown Montreal, desperately in need of major repairs, over four years. How can we fix it without destroying it?

The city’s pumped-up idea is the Amazing Inflatable Tunnel that comes in block-long sections and has reportedly been used in some European cities. According to plans, when the street is under repair, a tunnel will cover the sidewalks, protecting shoppers from dust and debris.

When sidewalks are under repair, the tunnel will move to the street, creating a giant pedestrian corridor — with special events taking place inside, from yoga classes to wine tastings.

Many people think this is a crazy, deluded and scary idea. What if an inflated tunnel pops like a balloon, or leaks, or catches fire, or collapses like the Big Owe roof ?

What if it floats off into space like a kite on a windy day, taking chunks of the street with it, along with some panhandlers — to a

galaxy far, far away?

As Montrealers, we’re trained to think something will go wrong. We are a cautious population wary of grandiose ideas and we have good reason.

Exactly 40 years later, we are still traumatized by the 1976 Olympic Stadium saga and its history of woe. We are post-traumatic Olympic stress survivors.

We’re also haunted by decades of incompetence and corruption — from collapsing viaducts and sinkholes to contractors who stole our money and cement.

We have an edifice complex, a deep instinctive fear of big WOW projects, that’s left us cautious and frugal. We built a new concert hall with a gorgeous interior but a bland architectural exterior, a wasted opportunity to beautify the city.

The proposed plan to light up the Jacques Cartier Bridge is taking much criticism for its estimated $39 million price tag, largely paid by Ottawa. Critics say why not build a cheaper one for $15 million, or $5 million like many cities do?

Sure we can, but why can’t we create one of the most magnificent signature bridges in the

world — lighting up the city for miles?

Other people complain about the proposed heated sidewalks for Ste-Catherine St. that will cost another $20 million plus. But I’ve walked on these sidewalks in Sweden and Norway on minus 25 degree days — and they will blow Montrealers’ minds and warm their feet and spirits.

Not every city scheme makes sense. The 375th anniversary plan to decorate our tree-filled mountain with granite tree stumps has always left me stumped. The historic walking trail from Mount Royal to the river is a nice idea, but the ever-inflating $50 million is expensive for a walk.

Still, dreams are good — and the crazy, inflatable Ste-Catherine St. Chunnel is a good sign we’re dreaming again. So are the plans to reinvent the Bonaventure Expressway, tear down the Turcot Interchange and build a new Champlain Bridge.

If the inflatable Chunnel can stay up in winter, maybe we can keep it there when construction is over — to winter-proof SteCatherine.

If that works let’s try some inflated Chunnels elsewhere. Let’s bubble wrap the Lachine Canal bike path in winter for snow-free cycling. Lets extend The Ste-Catherine Chunnel to Décarie or Toronto — or Asia.

Let’s cover my street in winter — or yours? Who knows? — Maybe we can even revive that ancient Montreal dream of a winter dome — an inflatable dome! — covering all downtown?

Let’s purge our Olympic trauma from our psyche and think big again. OK, everyone, breathe in — and inflate your dreams.

We have an edifice complex, a deep instinctive fear of big WOW projects, that’s left us cautious and frugal.