A lack of class can be unexpected

Dear Annie: The first meeting of my girlfriend and a couple with whom I am friends caused me to want to retreat into a hole. My male friend is an intelligent, educated man who is extremely successful in business and recognized as such in the community. My girlfriend’s parents live in West Virginia, of which my male friend became aware. On this, their first meeting, he felt it appropriate to tell West Virginia jokes during dinner, focusing on the offensive stereotypes that residents of the state commonly commit incest and have few or no teeth.

I later apologized to my girlfriend on his behalf. She graciously said that she is accustomed to such “humour.” What does one do in a situation such as this to avoid having the evening collapse? Unamused

Dear Unamused: The joke is on your friend, who fancies himself a cultured man of the world yet showed just how incredibly close-minded he is. True class, intelligence and grace can come from anywhere and your girlfriend is living proof. It was kind of her to take his remarks in stride. Your friend should be embarrassed. Talk to him about retiring this material.

Dear Annie: I spent some time in the hospital and befriended the woman in the next room. We became friends on Facebook and have kept in touch that way.

I have been having some family problems and decided to move out of my situation, but I couldn’t afford to live on my own. A friend from school was also looking to move, so we thought we could share an apartment together. My hospital friend suggested we check out an apartment in the building her daughter manages, but the apartment was disgusting, and we decided not to take it. Well, my hospital friend got very angry and said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. But a few days later, she started chatting with me again.

Now she’s back in the hospital. I did visit with her one day for three hours. The next day I was back in the area to pick up a prescription but I didn’t stop in for a visit because I had visited the day before. When she found out she got angry and asked why I didn’t visit. I told her it was because I had just visited the day before. She said if it’s such a bother to visit, then I should stay away and never visit or talk with her again.

What should I do, apologize and try to visit or do as she said and stay away? A Questionable Friend

Dear Questionable: You made it out of the hospital, but you picked up a bug while you were there.

I’m sure this woman is lonely. But that doesn’t make it OK for her to try to control you. You’ve been plenty kind, but it’s still not enough for her. She won’t be happy until she’s sucked up all your time and energy; sounds more like a parasite than a friend. Detox and rid yourself of this unhealthy “friendship.”