GRATING GIZMOS
When technology fails the test
How do I hate thee; let me count the ways ….
Maybe hate is too strong a word. But if you watch new car ads, you’d be right to think every new invention, will be making your car life extraordinary. Instead, a lot of things are just downright annoying.
Navigational systems are great. They’ve come so far over the past decade, it’s hard to believe anyone ever trusted them before. Most have overcome the delay that left you never knowing which way your little “you are here” arrow was really pointing. They’ve cleaned up directions to make them more user friendly, and the screens themselves are more responsive. So why do so many still insist on asking me if I’m sure I want to cancel a route? Cancel route, says the button. You press it. Are you sure you want to cancel route? Yes, Mom, I’m sure. And I’ve now had to take my eyes from the road twice rather than once. Navigation systems with trust issues.
As we descend into winter hell, the joy of heated seats, even on many entry-level cars, makes me wonder how I ever lived without them. They’re not just for rich bums anymore. But why do some manufacturers insist on making me activate them through a touch screen? Why should I have to wade through two or even three levels of screens to turn them on? As surely you need a knob for volume control, you need separate buttons for heated seats. Stop making it difficult.
Speaking of that radio, a colleague recently brought a Subaru bugaboo to my attention. Subaru is now your raunchy radio censor. If Howard Stern and other adultish talk radio is your groove, rest assured that each time you turn the car off, it will helpfully reset the radio to the preview station to protect any youngsters that may be joining you on your next outing. That’s right: The manufacturer has hardwired a command into its Legacy and Outback models that protects you from all the bad words. Talk about annoying.
While Subaru is thinking about the toddlers, other manufacturers are more concerned about the teens. Teen nanny systems — preset radio levels, no radio until seatbelts are done up, speed governors, software to trace where your kid has driven — are all big selling points to owners with teens. My sons have aged out of this sector but I spent years being targeted by carmakers who thought I’d love these ideas. I don’t. If I don’t trust my kids, I don’t give them the keys. To monitor their every move is not beneficial, and delays people (yes, teens are people) taking responsibility for their actions.
Am I the only one who feels manipulated by auto manufacturers who raced to include ridiculous amounts of distracting technology in cars, only to have them turn around and propose yet more systems that will now protect me from what they introduced in the first place?
Many cars refuse to alert the driver that they are running with just daytime running lights on, and not their full lighting system, including their rear running lights. Either engage the full system, or stop lighting up the dashboard and fooling too many drivers. When daytime running lights were mandated into law in Canada 25 years ago, it should have been mandatory that rear lights be connected to the system. So, I blame manufacturers for providing a half-assed solution and the government for allowing it.
Electronic gear shifters are more than an annoyance, they’re a safety concern. Because you are adjusting the shifter so subtly, it’s easy to misjudge where you’ve set it. Without the definitive clunk of a regular shifter, you have to be more vigilant to make up for the fact that there is nothing intuitive about this design. Fiat Chrysler is heading to court over it, but it’s not the only automaker using the design. I’m no fan of the fat dials that are being used in some Fords and Jaguars, among others, but I’ll take the argument that they’re being used to free up console space. Electronic gear shifters? You’re already using a shifter. Gimme something I can feel confident is in place.
Keep it simple, keep it intuitive, and keep the driver’s attention where it should be. And stop telling me I can’t listen to George Carlin.