Better to take a taxi than be sorry
Dear Annie: My husband doesn’t drink, for medical reasons. Recently, we were headed to a big dinner party celebrating our friend’s 30th birthday at a restaurant downtown. It’s about a 15-minute drive from our apartment. I wanted to take a taxi because it was a Friday night and I figured I’d have a few glasses of wine. Plus, we’d both had long days at work, and even though he would be sober, I didn’t want to force him to be designated driver.
But he wanted me to drive. I said, “Sorry, but I’d rather play it safe. I might be too tipsy on the way home.” He said he hates wasting money on things such as taxis and told me, “If you’re drinking too much to drive, maybe you shouldn’t drink at all.” I’d rather eat the cost of a $15 taxi ride than risk endangering lives (not to mention the legal costs of a DUI). We bickered about this for 10 minutes. Eventually, he caved and agreed to the taxi. But he was irritated with me the rest of the night, and it kind of spoiled my time.
Was I in the wrong to want to splurge for the taxi? Is he right that I’m irresponsible if I drink too much to drive? I like to drink socially. And I also don’t want to always force him to DD just because he can’t drink. Playing It Safe
Dear Playing: Thank goodness you took the wheel, figuratively speaking, on this decision. Even if you’re not planning on drinking too much, leaving the keys at home is the only way to steer clear.
I don’t think you’re irresponsible for wanting to have a few drinks at a birthday party. Your taking the initiative to get a taxi beforehand shows just how very responsible you are. I understand your husband’s concern for staying on budget, but you can’t put a price on safety. A note for everyone this holiday season: Please do not drink and drive. Use a designated driver or a ride service. Dear Annie: This is in response to “Sad About the Holidays,” who is tired of her in-laws making comments about her weight.
You actually don’t need to wait until you’re 84 years old (my age) to stand up for yourself. It’s always nice to be kind to people who are considerate and kind to you. However, when someone deliberately challenges your personal space, it’s not only OK to respond in kind but almost socially necessary. The next time one of her inlaws makes a negative comment about her eating habits, the appropriate response would be, “It’s better than being a big fat slob.”
Of course, being as inconsiderate as these inlaws apparently are, they might take umbrage at that response. But just remember that they started this little tiff. If they apologize for their lack of tact and consideration, take advantage of the situation by also apologizing for your retort. If necessary, plead oversensitivity. Sometimes that works. Been There
Dear Been: I’d go with something other than “big fat slob,” but I can certainly appreciate the sentiment of standing up for yourself.