Sisters should fix rift, but not via Facebook

Dear Annie: Recently, I copied an article and reposted it on Facebook. The article dealt with a woman who has handicapped licence plates. She does not appear to be physically handicapped, although she is. Another woman had approached her in a parking lot and harassed her for using the handicapped parking spot. The gist of the article was to not pass judgment on people and make assumptions.

When I posted it, I added a disclaimer to let people know that I wasn’t the original author. I also commented that my husband has a handicapped placard but does not look handicapped. My sister commented on this post, saying, “You are an idiot.”

I am hurt, and I’m angry with her. I don’t understand why she would make a comment such as this to her own sister on social media. I deleted the post and unfriended her. Did I go too far? Hurt Sister

Dear Hurt: Using social media to settle disputes between family members or friends is like trying to repair reading glasses with a sledgehammer; you have a blunt tool and an incredibly delicate object, and it results in a totally unnecessary broken mess.

Your sister is in the wrong, and I understand why you unfriended her. But that is not a long-term solution.

Because her comment seemed to you to come totally out of the blue, you two must be on very different pages. Talk to her in person if you can or on the phone if not. Ask her what she was thinking. Communication is the key here — real communication, between two sisters, not two screens.

Dear Annie: The letter from Confused Young Life in California, a young man in prison who says he won’t change his ways, was quite interesting. You said the key to his success lies in what he does and whom he associates with after his release. True, but there is another factor. Depending on where he is incarcerated, he may have educational opportunities.

For example, in New Hampshire, we have a program run by the New Hampshire Furniture Masters Association in which inmates learn woodworking skills. Of course, only prisoners with good behaviour can be in the program. Several former inmates are now working as furniture makers or cabinetmakers; one has even become a full member of the association.

The point is that as a society, we need to change our ideas about what prison is. If it’s just a holding pen for “penitence,” we will certainly fail. If we give these folks skills, they will then have the hope you suggest for your letter writer. Furniture Maker