A bad way to break news of affair

Dear Annie: I am in the process of getting a divorce after 38 years of marriage.

I’m wondering whether you could help me understand the way in which my husband “announced” he is having an affair.

We went to a small-town festival, and he introduced me to a woman. I could tell there was something going on.

Later that day, he said that yes, he finds her very attractive. (I should mention that she’s just two years older than our daughter.)

So I’m just trying to understand why he would do this to me and why this girl would want to meet me. She’s also married, and supposedly her husband doesn’t know about their affair. I am just having a difficult time understanding how two people could be so cruel and mean to me. Slapped in the Face

Dear Slapped: I will never fully understand why people are deliberately cruel.

But I do know that the happier a person is the more he or she wants others to be happy, and the reverse is also true. Just think how miserable your husband and his new girlfriend must be to act like such bullies. Pitiful.

Instead of getting mad, or even, get happy — happy that this louse is out of your life, for one. Spend time with friends and your daughter. Focus on living well (which really is the best revenge anyway). Good riddance to the rest.

Dear Annie: I am in my 50s and was taught by my family members that when someone brings or sends a gift, you should send a thank-you note. That was before email, texting or other digital messaging methods. There is always the good old telephone. I was also taught that it is not about the gift’s value but about the thought, even if it’s a tin of cookies or something homemade. Luckily, we have been able to be very generous.

In the past year, we attended two weddings, two funerals and a graduation and had two babies born to friends (millennial to middle age). That doesn’t include the gifts we gave for birthdays or the holidays.

A “thank you” of some type would have been nice. We did not receive any acknowledgment for anything and finally asked the recipients whether they had received the gifts (knowing that in most cases, they had, because they were hand-delivered), to which most responded, “Oh, yeah. Thanks.” Please tell your readers that if someone takes the time to send a gift, a quick “thank you” by some means is proper etiquette and very appreciated.

Or the next time, they won’t get anything. Beachside Suzi

Dear Beachside: You are not the first — and you won’t be the last — to write me about this trend. Two recent solutions I’ve heard from readers: 1) Donate to a charity in the person’s name instead of continuing to give material gifts for which he or she shows no gratitude. 2) Give each offending person a set of nice thank-you notes and a book of “forever” stamps. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at creators.com.