Neighbours being unfair

Dear Annie: We have some new neighbours, and our backyards are adjoining. We enjoy sitting out on our deck on evenings and enjoying the weather with a drink and snack. Sometimes friends stop by. We are quiet and aren’t out late.

Our neighbours have several young children, and they are outdoors all the time. We’re not thrilled with the constant noise, but we put up with it. We’ve tried to remain friendly and polite. Recently, there’s a new issue: Our neighbours informed us that it’s “creepy and inappropriate” when we sit outside when the kids are out playing and that we shouldn’t be doing so because it makes them uncomfortable.

We’re sitting in our lounge chairs and not even facing their direction. We can’t put up a taller privacy fence or plant bushes because of a city ordinance. We’re not sure what to do. We feel that we’re being bullied and that we’re doing nothing wrong, but if the family were to become angry and accuse us of something, our lives would be ruined.

We love this house but feel that our only option is to move.

I took some muffins over and tried to explain to the mother that we mean no harm to the children — that we’re just enjoying our deck on our property — and she asked me to leave, saying, “The kids will be home from school soon.”

I visited our police department to talk about the accusation, and an officer said we’d better just stay inside to prevent escalation.

But who’s to say these neighbours won’t decide (falsely) that we’re watching their kids through the windows? — Housebound Through No Fault of Our Own in Iowa

Dear Housebound: Relaxing on the deck at dusk after a good dinner is one of life’s simple pleasures. Don’t let the oddballs next door deprive you of that. You’ve done nothing wrong. If you want some privacy for your own peace of mind, try lining the side of your deck that faces them with large potted plants, or consider installing a canopy from which you could drape some curtains.

If they continue to harangue you, tell them you’ll stop sitting in your backyard when they show you the penal code that says you can’t.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Louise A.,” who is having difficulty accepting the fact that she is old.

I am also in my early 80s, and I can identify with her.

My husband and I were very active in our former community, but we were facing some health issues that demanded we, especially my husband, slow down.

We made the decision to move to a senior independent living community, and we have never regretted it one minute.

There are many people living here who have the same issues we have. Activities are planned for us. Meals are planned for us. And transportation is available for us if needed.

My answer for “Louise” is to find that community near her and move in. Life is beautiful even in our last days on Earth. — Marjorie in Tyler, Texas