Don’t leave dispute on the front burner

Dear Annie: I went to my son’s house to go out to dinner with him and his family. When I arrived, the only person there was my granddaughter. My son was meeting us at the restaurant, and my daughterin-law, “Jean,” had been called into work but intended to be back at the house shortly. She still hadn’t returned by the time my granddaughter and I had to head to the restaurant, and I noticed a pot of soup boiling on the stove. I thought Jean had forgotten to turn the burner off, so I turned it off.

We all happened to return later at about the same time, and when Jean noticed the burner was off, she asked, “Who turned the stove off?” I told her I had. She looked very upset and said, “The soup was supposed to cook for 12 hours.” I said, “Well, it is better to be safe than sorry.”

My son said she had not been upset with me. I told him I could tell by the expression on her face that she was. He then said I should not have turned the burner off, that “it was her stove.” I told him I was concerned the house might catch on fire. I think I acted appropriately by turning the stove off. What say you? —Safety First

Dear Safety First: It’s unsafe to leave a stove burning unattended. But if you keep treating this as an argument, things will get heated. Wait for things to simmer down before letting your son know about the fire safety issue. When the holidays roll around, consider

buying them a slow cooker — much safer to leave on for hours at a time.

Dear Annie: My comment is about your response to “Missing Life and Happiness,” who has been married for over 25 years to a man who turns his back on her in every way possible. I agree that she should focus on herself, enrich her life and improve her self-esteem. However, I believe she needs to do more than discuss issues with her husband. She has put up with this for too long. I don’t believe she should waste even one more second allowing that evil person in her life. From her description, it doesn’t sound possible for him to change how he treats her. It’s time to remove him and move on! —Jane G.

Dear Jane: You’re not the only reader who thought I should have told “Missing Life and Happiness” that enough was enough. I wanted to let her reach her own decision about her marriage, and I was trying to encourage her to get into a good headspace for evaluating things. Perhaps I should have worded my response more strongly, as I agree with you: The way her husband has been treating her is unacceptable. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.