Senior should listen closely to heart before moving closer to new love
Dear Annie: I moved from the city to the country about 20 years ago, and now that my husband is deceased, I plan to return to an urban environment.
I have spent many hours researching different locations, including using the internet and driving through neighbourhoods, and I believe I’ve found a centrally located area that’s upscale but affordable.
Basically, almost everything I’m looking for is at this location.
The problem is that, in the past year, I have been dating a guy who also lives in that area.
I’m in love with him and I’ve told him so — even though I’m sure I’ll never hear those words from him.
But he calls me every night, and we see each other once a week, so I know he’s fond of me.
The reason I told him I love him is that, over the past few months, he has developed an illness that’s going to result in a rather complicated surgery. I felt he should know how I feel, and I knew I would regret not having told him if something should happen. I’m 65, and he’s 70.
Truthfully, I could search around a different city and find a similar location with the same amenities. But how do I know whether I’m moving there for him or moving there for me? Moving Motivations
Dear Moving: You don’t need a polygraph to figure out whether you’re lying to yourself. You just need your heart and a willingness to listen to it. So take this two-question test.
1) Would you still move to this town if this man didn’t live there?
2) How would you feel if you two broke up six months from now — committed to building a life on your own in your new town, or inclined to pack up and move elsewhere?
Be deeply honest in this self-evaluation and you’ll make the decision that’s right for you.
Fudge the answers and you’ll only be cheating yourself.
Dear Annie: I’m a 76-year-old man who is 5-foot-3. Often, people think I’m a lady. For instance, while on an Alaskan cruise, I visited a glacier by helicopter. A woman in the group came up to me and asked: “What’s a nice lady like you doing on a trip like this?”
I informed her I’m a man and always have been. But this isn’t the first time this has happened. I asked my close friends if I look like a woman, and they all said no, not at all. I have short hair and am flat-chested. What would be a good response to give these individuals? Mr. Flat Chest
Dear Mr. Flat Chest: Keep it simple. Something like what you’ve been saying, such as “Actually, I’m a man,” is perfectly sufficient. They might feel embarrassed, but you shouldn’t.