How not to let Bill 62 put a scare into your Halloween
With Halloween around the corner, I know many of you are asking baffled questions about costume etiquette for Quebec in 2017.
Not whether it’s OK to wear once-popular costumes like cowboy guns, AK-47s and napalm flame throwers — as these are now seen as passé by most Canadian parents.
Not whether it’s OK to wear an “Indian headdress.” We’ve finally recognized Indigenous people don’t see a white guy sporting feathers and a tomahawk as a “costume” — just a slur.
Instead, the urgent new question this Oct. 31 is: What’s the correct Halloween garb and behaviour to reflect the spirit of Bill 62, the new law on face coverings — on a day where almost everyone is covered up?
True, Halloween candy collecting isn’t a “public service,” but it is done en masse in the public space. So, many people need guidance on correct costume etiquette, as to not offend the sensibilities of their fellow Quebecers — most of whom support the law.
It’s best to take the lead from Quebec’s government, which has been issuing hourly statements on what face coverings are acceptable and where.
The original bill caused a national and global fuss, so they’ve issued countless “clarifications” to soften the law’s image — and muddled things even more.
So let’s catch you up on them first, by clarifying the clarifications. Buses: Under last week’s original bill you couldn’t ride a bus without uncovering your face the entire journey. But under the latest ministerial clarifications the driver doesn’t have to follow you to the back of the bus to keep checking.
You must simply remove your niqab, burka, veil, ski mask, bandana, scarf, or large sunglasses if you need to show a photo ID, or “interact” with the driver — by say, asking “Which stop do I get off for Walmart?”
Then you can re-veil, re-mask, or re-bandana when you sit down, unless an irate passenger yells at you to unveil, in which case the bus driver will come back to adjudicate — and you’ll have to unveil again to “interact” with him.
To avoid difficulties, it’s probably best to enter by the back of the bus. Hospitals: New clarifications indicate the following behaviour is acceptable:
Enter hospital wearing veil, then unveil to show hospital card, then re-veil for seven-hour wait in emergency, then unveil if doctor ever arrives.
Alternatively, veil-wearers may return home for self-diagnosis and self-surgery. Schools: Unveil in the hallways but re-veil in the classroom to “facilitate learning,” advises the new law. You can unveil when you leave class, unless a teacher approaches — or harasses you — when you should re-veil to ensure “communication quality.” Government: When visiting Quebec’s National Assembly, unveil to pass through security, then re-veil in the hallway, but always unveil to attend MNA debates.
It is offensive to wear religious attire in a religiously neutral building, with an immense Catholic cross that’s been officially protected as a “cultural artifact.” Halloween: I’ve just learned that in the spirit of Bill 62, the government is preparing new Halloween “clarifications” to help kids avoid offending Quebec sensibilities.
I have obtained the following early draft from a veiled source:
Quebec Government Halloween Dress clarifications, 2017:
a) Face masks, goalie masks and other face-covered costumes are permitted throughout Quebec on Oct. 31, but homeowners may ask children to show photo ID and unmask.
So before ringing the bell, we suggest unmasking to request treats, then re-masking after any candy or gummy bears drop in your bag.
b) Zorro masks, giant sunglasses and pirate patches are not considered full face covering in themselves, nor are fake lips or Groucho moustaches. But wearing both a Zorro mask and fake lips, false moustache or winter muff is considered full-face covering.
Thus a homeowner asking children to unmask could be considered a form of “reasonable accommodation.”
c) Ghosts wearing full-body sheets are acceptable, but if the eye slits are tiny it could be construed as a niqab, or other full-face garment. Goblins with pumpkins over their heads are advised to have easy-to-remove pumpkin heads, to prevent long lineups at the door during homeowner security checks.
d) Government-approved scary, or disturbing costumes with no foreseeable problems include Donald Trump, an infected tooth, or Harvey Weinstein.
e) Winter costumes such as hooded parkas and face-shielding scarves are exempt on Oct. 31 (and other days) if the temperature falls below-25 C.
However, balaclava-wearers must apply for government exemption by email (see Formulaire 3236(c), available at our website: Info@DistressingHalloween-face-covering.gouv. qc.ca.boo!
Although the new Halloween rules have yet to be announced, the Bill 62 Halloween spirit is already with us. Niqab-wearing young McGill student Fatima Ahmad, reported on Tuesday that she’s received dirty looks and catcalls since the bill was adopted, including someone who shouted: “It’s not Halloween!”
Sorry Fatima, until Quebec politicians from all parties get over their obsession with face coverings, you may just have to duck and cover.