Bedside reading ...
As a sex therapist, many books on love, sex and relationships cross my desk. Some linger and are read multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then quickly tossed.
This is a list of the former: Books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my curiosity.
1 The Guide to Getting It On — Sixth Edition Paul Joannides
Here’s what Oprah magazine had to say: “You’ve never read a manual as warm, friendly, liberating, thorough and potentially sex-life-changing as The Guide to Getting It On. Neither had anyone in our office, which may be why our copies keep disappearing.” This book has been translated into more than 13 languages and has sold over 650,000 copies. It is a worldclass sex manual that starts from the simplistic and evolves into the, “Oh my God! I had no idea that was possible!”
2 The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman
Chapman brings his over 30 years of experience as a marriage counsellor to his theory on how individuals express and interpret love. This book helps couples learn their “love language” and then recognize how these languages affect their actions, wants and desires within their relationship. I have used Chapman’s book to guide couples in therapy for years, as I believe he makes understanding oneself, and one’s partner, an enlightening experience.
3 Mating in Captivity Esther Perel
Throughout the ages we have aspired to increase our IQ — and recently our EI (Emotional Intelligence) — but the thought of sharpening our erotic intelligence has only recently taken ground. Perel helps us explore this crucial third component through her theories on the pitfalls of modern intimacy within long-term relationships, and her beliefs on how we can sustain our erotic vitality within the monogamous setting.
4 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman
Gottman is a highly respected and influential researcher within the psychology community, and for good reason. He has analyzed and watched (through in-house cameras) so many couples interact throughout the years, that he can predict divorce — with 91 per cent accuracy — after watching and listening to a couple for only five minutes. His book is an easy read, peppered with fascinating statistics, that is bound to offer something to every relationship. Don’t let the cover or title deter you if you haven’t taken the plunge into marital bliss, as Gottman’s seven principles will reveal must-see signs and behaviours for every relationship, regardless of its legal state.