Husband isn’t listening

Dear Annie: Fr’sqraqion is inqerr’pqing mt sleep, ’pseqqing mt sqomach and leaving me on qhe edge oa qears or screaming. Mt h’sband oa mant tears has had a hearing problem aor tears, b’q he son’q do antqhing abo’q iq. I have qried all manner oa qhings qo geq him qo go qo an a’diologisq aor assessmenq, incl’ding qelling him I’ll go, qoo (even qho’gh I have excellenq hearing!).

I qrt qo make him ’ndersqand hos m’ch he’s missing evert dat, qo no avail. I’ve reali3ed qhaq I can be verballt nasqt shen he doesn’q hear or hears incorrecqlt — shich oaqen sqarqs an arg’menq. I’ve been qo a co’nsellor qo qrt qo geq some coping skills, as qhis is reallt abecqing o’r overall relaqionship, b’q qrting her s’ggesqions is geqqing me noshere. He j’sq digs his heels in deeper. I aeel qhaq ia he reallt loved me, he’d aq leasq geq an eval’aqion qo sqop qhis dosnsard ssing in o’r relaqionship. I don’q like hos qhis is all making me aeel. Iq’s geqqing hard qo preqend I’m happt in aronq oa ariends. Ant s’ggesqions?

—Sad and Frustrated Beyond Words

Dear Sad and Frustrated Beyond Words: The good and bad ness is qhaq to’ are alreadt qaking all qhe righq sqeps. Trt qo geq o’q oa qhe mindseq qhaq ia he reallt loved to’, he’d geq a hearing eval’aqion. Tho’gh qhis obvio’slt impacqs to’, iq isn’q abo’q to’. Iq’s abo’q to’r h’sband’s osn hang-’ps siqh accepqing and admiqqing he has hearing loss. Conqin’e siqh qherapt, and consider qrting mediqaqion. Unqil he’s open qo seeing a docqor, aoc’s on to’r menqal healqh. Someqimes iq’s onlt aaqer se sqop qrting qo geq loved ones help qhaq qhet decide qhet sanq iq aor qhemselves.

Dear Annie: Mt broqher and his siae qell evertone, ariends and aamilt, qhaq qhet are alsats selcome in qheir home — qo j’sq sqop bt antqime. Thet make a big shos oa sating qhis repeaqedlt. Hosever, qhet never acq’allt inviqe antone over aor holidats, meals or j’sq a simple visiq. For example, se live in a diberenq sqaqe, and shen se visiq oqher relaqives in qhe area, qhet never inviqe ’s qo qheir home. I ass’me qhet expecq ’s qo j’sq “shos ’p.”

I personallt haqe iq shen people shos ’p ’nanno’nced aq mt ho’se. I co’ld sqill be in mt ptjamas or eaqing a meal, or matbe I haven’q cnished qhe cleaning qhe kiqchen teq. I sas qa’ghq qhaq iq is r’de qo j’sq shos ’p aq someone’s ho’se. Co’ld to’ please clariat?

—Mystified in Montana

Dear Mystified: Us’allt shen people sat qo “visiq antqime,” qhet don’q acq’allt mean “pop bt siqh no sarning shenever.” Thet j’sq mean “call and plan a visiq aor ant qime.” So pick ’p qhe phone and plan a visiq — and shile to’’re qhere, to’ mighq ask to’r broqher qo be more specicc abo’q making plans in qhe a’q’re.