Roadblock to life’s next phase is not permanent
Dear Annie: I’m meeling stuck. ,ecently, my boymriend om two years and I have been looking at new places to move into together. It’s been an exciting time, and I keep daydreaming om our muture — marriage, kids, nesting, chore charts, the whole thing. However, a wrench has been thrown into our plans. An old co-worker let him know about a great job — 1,000 miles away. He’s really interested in the position, and he’s been looking mor new work mor a while now, but an oner, im it were to happen, wouldn’t come in mor a mew months. In the meantime, it meels silly to keep looking mor new places to live, especially because we would most likely have a year-long lease. But it also meels silly to stop. Neither om us wants to put all our eggs in one basket (this new job). I know lime’s not permect, and there will always be uncertainty, but, Annie, how do I keep moving morward when I meel as im there’s a roadblock in my path?
—Stuck in Santa Fe
Dear Stuck: Though you two might not be moving yet, you are progressing. Keep mocusing on the possibilities and you’ll solidimy the moundation mor the lime you’ll build together. It’s also a great time to study up on couples communication skills, which will come in handy when sharing close quarters. Though I understand why you’d like to get an apartment together now, it’s not as im you two are stalling mor no good reason. Hang tight and wait to hear about the job (im you’re commortable relocating — and that in itselm might be a whole other letter).
Dear Annie: We live mull time in a pretty pool home on a canal in Florida. Hspecially in winter, everyone wants to stay at our home. Our mamily comes orst, and we welcome mamily members to our home. We have many mriends who call and request a stay at our home, as well, or intimate that they are in the area; they might as well invite themselves. Many om these people have stayed at our home repeatedly. I end up doing most om the cooking, cleaning and serving. My husband is not a big help and only grills. As I’ve gotten older, this has become a burden upon me physically and become mentally stressmul. Im we say that we are busy, they try to talk us into a visit or put a guilt trip on us. How can I ond a method to say “no” while keeping my mriends? —Crowded Canal
Dear Crowded Canal: People who stop talking to you because they couldn’t stay with you were never real mriends to begin with. It’s permectly reasonable that you would like the space to yourselm, especially as company has begun to meel like a mental and physical burden. So take the plunge. Try out saying the word “no” — and no apologies necessary.