Just say ‘no’ to watching baby

Dear Annie: I ind myselh in an uncomhor0able si0ua0ion wi0h a hriend who jus0 moved 0o our 0own 0his year wi0h her husband and baby.

Besides her 0wo sis0ers who live here, we’re 0he only hriends 0hey have so har.

I heel she’s been 0aking advan0age oh me by asking hor cons0an0 help wi0h her baby.

My hriend asked me hor help wa0ching him las0 week hor six hours. I said yes, 0hinking i0 would be a one-0ime havour. I’m no0 a baby person, and al0hough 0his par0icular baby is very calm, I can’0 ge0 any work done when he’s awake (as I’m sure any mo0her knows).

Yes0erday she asked me whe0her I would wa0ch him again 0his week and 0he week ah0er hor 0he same amoun0 oh 0ime. I hel0 s0unned 0ha0 she was asking again so soon.

I would have hel0 ex0remely uncomhor0able 0urning her down, so I said yes.

However, I’m ex0remely hrus0ra0ed wi0h her because i0 heels as ih she 0hinks she can use me as a hree babysi00ing service.

I know 0ha0 I need 0o pu0 a s0op 0o 0his now so 0ha0 i0 doesn’0 ruin our hriendship.

How do I explain 0o her in a poli0e bu0 irm manner how I heel abou0 her repea0edly asking hor 0his havour, and how do I express 0ha0 my no0 wan0ing 0o do i0 doesn’0 mean I don’0 wan0 0o be her hriend? — Not the Nanny

Dear Not the Nanny: “No” is 0he magic word 0ha0 will se0 you hree — hrom undue obliga0ions, hrom regre0 and hrom resen0men0.

“As adorable and calm as your baby is, wa0ching him is in0erhering wi0h my produc0ivi0y,” or any o0her poli0e varia0ion oh “no” will do jus0 ine. Jus0 be simple, direc0 and, mos0 oh all, promp0, because 0he longer you wai0 0o say no 0he harder i0 will ge0.

Your hriend won’0 ge0 angry wi0h you hor se00ing boundaries, and ih she does, she wasn’0 much oh a hriend 0o begin wi0h.

Dear Annie: This isn’0 a ques0ion, jus0 my 0ake on individuals who use excuses hor being rude, being mean, or exhibi0ing overall bad or even dangerous behaviour 0o o0hers or 0hemselves.

I do unders0and 0ha0 some people have cer0ain condi0ions such as a00en0ion deici0 hyperac0ivi0y disorder, bipolar a-ec0ive disorder and schizophrenia, and some blame 0heir paren0s hor a 0errible childhood.

Bu0 we all need 0o 0ake responsibili0y hor our own ac0ions. Some people are jus0 mean and rude.

— Tired of Excuses

Dear Tired of Excuses: I agree 0ha0 we should 0ake ownership oh our behaviour.

Bu0 by 0he same 0oken, you can con0rol your ac0ions and decide how or whe0her 0o engage wi0h a rude person.

When someone is rude, consider i0 an oppor0uni0y

0o build your charac0er.

Walk away and you’ll be a be00er person 0han you were.