Mother hopes son’s tragic death will make people think twice about taking risks
“Shaney has always had his own agenda. We could educate him, talk to him, yell at him, warn him, scare him … but the rest is ultimately up to him.”
This is an excerpt from Elayne Weigensberg’s eulogy at her son Shane’s funeral.
When Weigensberg speaks about her son Shane, she uses the present tense. She speaks of his enthusiasm for life, his generosity and his boundless energy.
Shane Weigensberg died May 18. The police investigation is still active, but a witness has said Shane was speeding on his motorcycle, travelling north on St-Jean Blvd., when he ran a red light and rammed into a truck travelling west on Brunswick Blvd.
He was 26. Weigensberg delivered a powerful eulogy at his funeral. She wore his gold ring around her neck and his motorcycle glove on her hand. The eulogy ended with:
“To all the young, invincible people here and everywhere, you can smoke too much weed, you can drink too many beers, you can drive too fast and then that life wins. You don’t get to have a future. You don’t get to have children and watch them grow. You don’t get to love the family that brought you into this world and nurtured you.
“Think before you act and take action before you choose. Do not do this to your family, friends, or to yourself. Living on the edge may have consequences. And ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it.”
Last week, Weigensberg spoke with a reporter at the family home in Dollard-des-Ormeaux. A teddy bear wearing a sweater with “Shaney” embroidered on the chest sat on the countertop. Mom had given it to Shane when he was a little boy.
A blown-up photo of a smiling Shane wearing travel gear, taken during a January trip to Costa Rica, leaned against the foyer wall.
“I needed to be his voice. I needed to transition him, to tell his story without sugar-coating it,” Weigensberg said of her eulogy. “I spoke clearly and loudly because he needed to be heard.”
On the evening of May 17, Shane came home from work — he lived with his parents — changed into his shorts and tank and headed to the gym.
“He called me at midnight to say he would be home at 1 a.m.,” Weigensberg said. “He was happy. The call lasted 43 seconds.”
She and her husband Cary were wakened at 4:02 a.m. by a telephone call from the police telling them to come to the Lakeshore General Hospital as quickly as possible.
At 4:15 a.m. they were told their son was dead.
“The first thing I noticed was how still he was,” Weigensberg said. “There was a lot of bruising, but his teeth were fine. We were allowed to spend five and a half hours with him. We were able to hold his hand to keep it warm and touch him and kiss him.”
Shane’s older siblings, Mandy, who lives in Toronto, and Jamie were contacted. Family and friends gathered to mourn in great numbers. The Paperman funeral home was filled to capacity.
The eulogy began: “I have the courage to stand here today because I am a mother. I’m his staunchest defender and advocate and will always be. He is eager, little-boy excited, free-spirited, resourceful and qualified. His is generous with his self and his time.”
Shane was an active, strong baby. His siblings taught him how to climb out of his crib when he was six and a half months old, so he would clamber out and crawl to see mom and dad. The family called him Shaney, a nickname that sticks to this day. When he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child his mom became his educational advocate, ultimately enrolling him at the small private school Education Plus, which resulted in him passing his high school provincial exams. He enrolled at the West Island Career Centre, became a mechanic and worked with his brother at his dad’s garage, CJ Auto in St-Laurent. He loved to drive and often raced in controlled environments.
“If I hadn’t allowed him to have a motorcycle, he would have bought one and kept it somewhere else,” Weigensberg said. “Would I have done anything differently? I think I would have shown him what a dead body looked like — what a grieving family looked like. I would have asked him if he wanted to be dead.”
Shane would have turned 27 on May 31. Weigensberg organized a birthday party and baked cupcakes.
Weigensberg adores her son and is proud of his helpful nature and love of adventure, but she wants people to understand the horrible truth when someone drives too fast, so she has posted photos of the mangled motorcycle and bloody helmet on her Facebook page.
“People need to hear and see (the consequences),” she said. “But memory fades, so I have to find a way to keep the message alive. Maybe I will approach schools — to share Shane’s story.”