Family tries to reach mother with COVID-19
‘It’s total agony’ as daughter looks for way to speak with parent in seniors’ home
It has been a month since Norma Ishayek has had any communication with her 93-year-old mother.
Now that her mother, Juliette Shemie, has been diagnosed with COVID-19 and is getting oxygen treatment, Ishayek fears the worst. Her mother is at the Jewish Eldercare Centre on the third floor of the facility’s Kastner Pavilion, which is dedicated to patients with dementia who are mobile and tend to roam the halls.
“We’re sitting by the phone, praying that we can speak with mom before it’s all over,” Ishayek told the Montreal Gazette on Thursday. “It’s total agony and desperation (for us).”
Ishayek explained that her mother is able to communicate and recognizes family members. She just can’t use a phone, so there isn’t one in her room.
Prior to all Quebec seniors’ homes barring visitors and caregivers, Shemie would speak regularly with her family members through a caregiver’s phone. She has three children, four grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, and family members who visited would often loop in other relatives from out of town over a video call.
Since the seniors’ centres were shut down on March 14, Shemie has not heard at all from her family.
“She has the beginnings of dementia, but she recognizes all her family; she talks to all of them and she knows who everyone is,” Ishayek said, adding that she calls the centre regularly asking to communicate with her mother. “I begged them to let me speak with her, just to let her know that we’re with her, that we didn’t abandon her.”
Despite the lack of direct communication, Ishayek has been contacted by staff at the centre with updates about her mother’s health. She was told last Thursday that her mother had a fever, and was then informed on Tuesday her mother tested positive for the virus. Shemie is now getting oxygen treatment and is said to be comfortable.
Ishayek has been told for several weeks that staff are trying to acquire ipads to allow for video calls to be made with patients.
“I have no blame for the frontline staff,” she said. “They have been heroes and have gone above and beyond, but they’re just overwhelmed and they can’t keep up. That’s where managers, or the government, have to step in.”
In his news conference Thursday, Premier François Legault promised to improve communication at longterm care facilities. He added that while visitors are barred, family members will be able to see their loved ones if they are at the end of their lives. Ishayek said that promise holds no comfort.
“When it gets critical, my mom is not going to be alert,” she said. “She’s not going to know that I’m there. All right, I will see her, but what does that do? It is a very sad ending to someone’s life.”
Ishayek isn’t the first family member of a resident at the centre to complain about poor communication. The Montreal Gazette has reported about two other family members who experienced poor communication from the centre.
Lucio D’intino, a board member of the Regroupement provincial des comités des usagers, which represents users’ groups at health establishments throughout the province, said the situation is the same in most long-term care facilities in Quebec, as communication has been cut off since the ban on visitors went into place.
“They’ve had no news and no communication and no idea about what’s going on, then they could be getting a call saying ‘Your loved one has just passed away,’ ” D’intino said. “There’s no humanity left.”
Speaking for the Jewish Eldercare Centre, Jennifer Timmons said communication is a work in progress.
“We are doing our best to communicate with the designated legal representative of each resident as often as we can,” she wrote in an emailed response statement. “The ipad program for residents to communicate with family members is just being set up. We will do our best to make them available as often as possible.