Don’t let divorce hurt kids

Dear Annie: This is to add to what you told A Question of Taste, the reader who asked if it is OK to give her grandson’s younger half-brother a gift when she gives her grandson a gift. She is absolutely doing the right thing! Thank goodness there are people like her in this world. I am a retired teacher and will never forget one of my students who was having a difficult time, not only with her parents’ divorce but with the fact that it seemed her grandparents didn’t care about her anymore.

This poor girl was only a third-grader, and these were parents of her stepfather, who had fully accepted her as a grandchild until the divorce. They would come to afterschool day care and pick up their biological granddaughter to go to their house or do something special but not my sweet student. This left her absolutely heartbroken, and it broke my heart to hear about it.

Please, people, these are just children, and if you have been in their lives as a grandparent, from the child’s perspective, the divorce doesn’t take that away.

— Picking up the Pieces

Dear Picking up the Pieces: Shame on them. My heart goes out to your third-grade student. There is nothing worse than when adults take out their frustrations about divorce on children, or hold grudges against children during a divorce. It was not your student’s fault, and it is terrible that they rubbed the situation in her face. I hope they read this letter and have a change of heart.

Dear Annie: I was saddened by the letter from Mad About Mice in which the writer proudly recounted having captured the little animals and released them elsewhere. Many people believe this is a kind solution, but it actually just assures that they will not have to observe the animals’ ordeals themselves.

As The Humane Society explains on its website, the relocated animals are no better off than we would be if we were suddenly deposited in an unfamiliar place with no resources. They don’t know where to find food, water or shelter, or what dangers to avoid. If they had been working to store food, their supply is lost.

If they have a family, they will never see it again, and their children will die.

Please don’t perpetuate this misconception, however comforting it may be to well-intentioned people.

If they really want to get rid of unwelcome animals compassionately, they need to learn more about their habits and how to keep them away in the first place.

— Mercy for the Mice

Dear Mercy for the Mice: Thank you very much for this information. I encourage everyone to read the tips published by The Humane Society.

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