Grieving is hard enough in normal times

Reaching out to the bereaved is more important than ever

Losing a loved one is never easy. When I lost my Mom, just over 15 years ago, I was devastated. It happened suddenly. Much of that time was a blur. The one thing I remember vividly was how much the love and support of friends and family got me through that period of my life, whether it was a warm hug, sitting down over a cup of tea to relive memories or simply getting together in silent mourning. Each of those interactions meant so much. They allowed me to embrace my grief while basking in the comfort of loved ones.

COVID -19 has robbed thousands of families of the opportunity to grieve surrounded by their loved ones. So many are dying alone, and so many others are grieving by themselves. In some cases, family members have to choose which child or sibling can attend their loved one’s funeral, due to limitations on the number of attendees. In other instances, there is little solace in the grieving process because so much of it is spent alone. While this can be difficult for families living under one roof, it is even more painful for those living by themselves.

We are living through unprecedented times. Most of us have never known solitude like this before. As we adjust to a new normal, we have to push through to find creative ways to get through life’s challenging times. Dealing with death is at the top of the list.

We read about the number of cases of COVID-19 and watch the death toll climb steadily. Behind each of those numbers is a person, a life lost. Someone who had dreams and aspirations, a family and a story to tell. Many, if not most, left loved ones who are grieving. It takes a toll on our collective conscience.

Behind each of those numbers is a person, a life lost. Someone who had dreams and aspirations, a family and a story to tell.

Zoom, Skype and Facetime calls are excellent and provide an alternative to sitting at home by ourselves. They allow us to interact with one another, which is essential for our mental health, but not being able to physically comfort our loved ones as they grieve the loss of someone they care about is a genuine issue.

I have lost two elderly people I know to COVID-19 in the past week and a half. Both had family and people that cared about them. In one instance, their only child lives in the United States and was unable to fly back to attend their father’s funeral. It broke my heart to hear this. Thankfully, they had close friends who were able to attend and Skype them in.

The likelihood is that we’ll continue living through this situation for some time to come. It’s essential now, more than ever before, to be proactive in reaching out to people we care about. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t connected with in some time, send a text message, email, voice memo — whatever it takes to let people you care about, know that you’re thinking about them.

In times of grief, or during a difficult time like this where it is easy to feel alone, the feeling of having someone think of you, or reach out to see how you are doing can have an incredible impact. We each need to be that person in someone else’s life.

We each need to be the person who makes someone else feel cared for and the one that will put a smile on someone’s face when, years from now, they think back on these challenging times.

The past few months have taught us how quickly our lives can change in the blink of an eye. Let’s let those that we care about know how much they matter; all the more so when those we care about are grieving in solitude.