To have and to hold off on marriage
Dear Annie: I have been dating a boy for about eight months. We are both in our teens, and we are in love. We talked about getting promised, and I was wondering at what age would it be OK to be promised. I would love to get promised, except for what others would think.
Young Love
Dear Young Love: Congratulations on your newfound love. Focus on your relationship and your growth as individuals rather than what other people might think. Enjoy your time together as boyfriend and girlfriend, then you can enjoy your time together as fiancées, and eventually, you can enjoy your time as husband and wife.
Dear Annie: There has been a recent dust-up in our family over my brother’s and his wife’s views against vaccinating their kids. My brother’s wife will, on occasion, post something on Facebook against vaccines, and some of us will respond with a differing view. This has caused tension, and to rectify this, some of us have unfriended or unfollowed her on Facebook.
I bring this up because, I am immunosuppressed due to a transplant, and my aunt and uncle are both in their 90s. If the unvaccinated niece exposes us to a virus, it can quite possibly kill us. How do we associate with my brother and family without taking this risk?
My brother believes my parents caught pneumonia by getting the pneumonia shot, which is not possible. The pneumonia shot is not a live virus shot. I can counter his beliefs with many publications by the Centers for Disease Control, American Medical Association and other legitimate organizations, as well as advice from doctors, but my brother and his wife refuse to do the research on these issues.
Frustrated in Arizona
Dear Frustrated in Arizona: Your frustration is understandable, and I don’t see the dust settling any time soon if your brother and his wife continue to not listen to doctors or research medical facts about the importance of vaccinations.
They have a right to choose not to be vaccinated. And you have a right to be concerned about your safety and that of your aunt and uncle.
Using Facebook isn’t really communicating. Have a phone call or video chat with your brother and sister-in-law. State your concerns clearly. And then listen to theirs without judgment. By hearing him out, you might help alleviate his fears. If they still choose not to be vaccinated, and you wish to see your brother and sister-inlaw, ask your doctor for guidelines. Be careful and focus on staying healthy — emotionally and physically.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.