Uncomfortable making a recommendation

Dear Annie: Many times, I am asked to write a letter of recommendation or make a recommendation for someone seeking a new job or promotion. What do I do if the person is qualified for the job/ promotion but I do not feel comfortable writing the letter of recommendation?

I was asked by my supervisor to write a letter of recommendation for another person that I work with. We started at the company at the same time and I went up for promotion first. I did all the groundwork in getting my papers and reviewers in order. My co-worker did the same, however, one of the reviewers dropped out at the last minute and this person had no backup plan for another reviewer. Although this person is fairly competent, I did not feel I could wholeheartedly write a letter of recommendation on their behalf. I felt cornered in doing so, as my supervisor asked me to do it. What is your recommendation in this situation?

Stuck in the Corner

Dear Stuck: When you write someone a letter of recommendation, you are putting your own reputation on the line, at least a little bit. If you don't feel good about writing one for this co-worker, then don't. Politely let your supervisor know. They should leave it at that. It would be out of line for them to pressure you into vouching for someone whom you'd rather not. We're only as good as our word; don't devalue yours.

Dear Annie: The morning of my husband's birthday, I emailed almost all of his relatives and friends and requested that they contact him with birthday wishes. Because we're sitting out the pandemic in Hawaii, cards hadn't arrived yet from those who sent them from the mainland. It worked out really well: He had so much fun fielding calls and texts and emails all day! Hanakeaka

Dear Hanakeaka: That is wonderful. Over the past six months, I think that we've all come to better appreciate connecting with our friends and family.

Dear Annie: I am hoping you can get a message out. From time to time, I'll be sitting at a bar where I have engaged in some social conversation with strangers or I'll be Djing music, and a beer will show up and the server will tell me who it's from. While I know this is a gesture that comes with the best of intentions, I always limit how much I will drink when I have to drive.

Thanks, But No Thanks in North Dakota

Dear Thanks: I'm happy to get the word out. Asking someone what they'd like to drink is the better approach.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators. com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website

at creators.com.