Stress from pandemic is affecting family life
The stress of living in pandemic limbo is very real and it's affecting family life
The days are getting shorter, but November seems like the longest month.
The brief, festive sugar high of Halloween is a distant memory. And Christmas, if it happens, is still a long way off — at least in pandemic time, when a week can last an eternity.
We have fallen into a holding pattern in terms of COVID-19 outbreaks. On Wednesday, Quebec reported 1,179 new cases and 35 deaths. Tuesday's total — 982 — marked the first time in weeks we had dipped below 1,000 daily diagnoses. Progress? Hard to tell when it comes on the heels of the single-day record set Saturday, when 1,448 cases were announced.
One week, the trajectory of cases is serious enough to have Premier François Legault weighing a new shutdown of schools to contain the contagion. The next, things are looking up enough that he's talking about a longer Christmas break to allow families to gather and lower the risk of bringing the coronavirus back to class in the new year. Hopefully he didn't jinx it. Every time the powers that be express optimism, we take a turn for the worse shortly after.
Yes, the government is promising guidelines so we can all plan for an “adapted and healthy” Christmas, as it's already being billed by Dr. Horacio Arruda, Quebec's director of public health. But — insert an asterisk here — these plans may be subject to change between now and Dec. 25. Heck, between now and next week.
So you might still want to pop that present in the mail to Grandma.
While we wait to find out what this Christmas will be like, we wait for a vaccine that will someday magically transport us back to life before Friday, March 13, 2020, when the ground started shifting beneath our feet. Two of the top three candidates have been found to be highly effective — 95 per cent for one being developed by Pfizer, and 94.5 per cent for one in the works by Moderna. The first doses could be delivered to Canada as early as January, but it could still take until the end of 2021 for everyone in Canada to get the shot. There's light at the end of the tunnel, but that's still a long time to wait. So we wait for the other shoe to drop.
We live with low-level anxiety, knowing our cortisol levels could spike again if, or more likely when, things go off the rails. The stress of waiting, of living in limbo, is very real, for adults and children alike.
Quebec's Observatoire des tout-petits published the results of a poll this week showing families with kids under five are suffering. Some 68 per cent of respondents said parenthood was simply more challenging during the pandemic; 39 per cent said they were scrambling to balance work and family life; 44 per cent said they had struggled to remain calm when their kids tested their patience; and 66 per cent live in fear of their child's daycare or school closing down again. The lower the parents' income, the higher the stress.
As for the preschoolers themselves, parents' answers were heartbreaking: 52 per cent said the pandemic was having a negative effect on their kids; 23 per cent said their little ones were crying more; 39 per cent said their children are having more tantrums. When mom or dad are worried, the kids feel it. When they are not able to verbalize it, they act out. It's a vicious cycle, a downward spiral for the whole family.
The pressure is also taking a toll on relationships. Even couples who always seemed solid are seeing fissures develop. Among those who were already on the rocks, the cracks have widened into irreparable differences. Anecdotally, divorce lawyers report a troubling upswing in calls. The parents are not all right. The kids are not all right.
A study from the Université de Sherbrooke is one of several that have found high levels of distress among adolescents. Compared to data from previous years, the researchers found double the number of teens from 14 to 17 were experiencing anxiety, depression and cognitive problems. They are struggling to adapt to unexpected circumstances, social isolation, missing out on extracurricular activities and evolving school schedules.
The mental health of seniors is hardly better. With so many of them cut off from seeing family and friends, loneliness creeps in.
November is a difficult month in the best of years. The warm weather is gone and the long winter is ahead. The colours have faded and the leaves have fallen.
But as we trudge through this time in between, many of us are wearier than usual.