Boyfriend texts friend back, but not girlfriend

Dear Annie: A few months ago, I found out that my boyfriend was messaging a girl. He says she is just a friend. I've asked where he knows her from, but he brushes it off and says it was just a friendly text. I believe him that she's just a friend, but what bothers me is that the whole time this was happening, he would tell me that he was too busy to reply to me. He does work a lot.

However, it hurts me that he took the time to reply to her messages during his workday while saying that he didn't have time to reply to mine. I am still very upset. I've brought it up again a couple of times, and he listens to a point, but then he just shuts down the conversation, saying she's just a friend.

Not Over It

Dear Not Over It: His texting a female friend is not the core issue, as you seem to acknowledge. The core issue is your feeling devalued by his lack of communication. Put the emphasis squarely on that. Let him know your needs — for instance, “I would feel loved and important if you could respond within a few hours of my texting you, even if it's just to say that you're too busy to respond.” Without good communication, even the smallest of things can fester. With good communication, couples can heal the most painful wounds.

Dear Annie: I am the mother of three incredible adult children. About a year and a half ago, my only daughter just cut me off without any explanation. My youngest son then moved in next door to her and hasn't spoken to me in almost a year. They both refuse to talk to me.

My daughter got engaged and since then has gotten married. She did not tell me. I had to, unfortunately, find out on Facebook.

She did not invite anyone from my side of the family. She did invite her dad (my ex-husband) and his new wife. I have been so hurt I'm at a loss for words.

Mom Cast Aside

Dear Mom Cast Aside: One of the hard parts of this job is trying to discern what a letter leaves out. It would be strange indeed for a son and daughter to both abruptly cut off contact with their mother for no reason. I wonder what their perspectives might be.

No matter what happened between you all, though, I'm sure it's very painful for you. It's natural to be feeling some resentment right now. Counselling could help you work through these emotions and find peace. Your primary care doctor can refer you to therapists, or you can also call the national helpline SAMHSA (1-800-662-4357) to be connected with resources in your area.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators. com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at creators.com.