Upset that husband talking to best friend

Dear Annie: I own a bar with my best friend. We work great together. I've been married for five years, and yesterday, my business partner showed me messages from my husband. He gave her his phone number and said if she ever wants to talk, she should call. He is in no way associated with our bar. They are friends through me. I am very upset he did this. I confronted him, and he said he was just being nice. However, I'm still mad and hurt he did this. Should I just overlook this as his being friendly, or do I have a reason to be upset?

Aggravated

Dear Aggravated: These sorts of situations can function as Rorschach tests for relationships: What you see can reveal a lot about your head space. There's nothing inherently wrong with your husband reaching out to your business partner, so it's worth asking yourself why your first instinct was to suspect something inappropriate. Are there past trust issues that you haven't resolved?

Or perhaps your husband knew that your friend would show you the messages, and he was trying to get your goat. Or maybe he was flirting with her, as you suspected.

Whatever the case, the only way you'll find the real answer, and a real solution, is through open and honest conversation with your husband. Marriage counselling can create the space for that to happen, and it can also help you identify the path forward.

Dear Annie: I understand the concerns of “Employee for the Moment,” about having to work in unsafe conditions during the pandemic. Before she judges her employer so harshly, however, she should consider how difficult it has been keeping a business going during a pandemic. Her employer has to look at the bottom line and fight to keep his product selling in a difficult market. Perhaps he, like so many business owners, is facing layoffs and even shutting the doors of the business. Perhaps she should consider that he had to get tough to survive and that he was fighting to maintain her job and paycheque as well as his own.

That does not justify unsafe conditions but may explain why a respected employer would appear to consider the business before the employee. If she considers these things and still feels the same, she should move to a new job.

Not Business as Usual

Dear Not Business as Usual: You bring up a great point: Small-business owners have been put through the wringer this past year, and it's not right that so many should lose everything they've built because of circumstances outside their control.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.