Montreal Gazette

Woman finding love in all the wrong places


Dear Annie: I have let myself get involved with a significan­tly younger guy. To make matters worse, I'm married. Before I even started talking to this other guy, my husband and I had become more like roommates than husband and wife. We didn't even share the same bedroom. He never showed me affection of any kind. We spoke to each other, but that was it.

I started socializin­g with men on social media. I have met this great guy who lives in Nigeria and is younger than me. I know Nigeria is known for scammers, but this guy really doesn't seem like he would be into that stuff.

As for my husband, I care for him, but my love for him isn't the way it should be. Yet, I can't bring myself to leave.

The guy in Nigeria begs me to fly to see him. We Facetime each other and talk on the phone so much and text each other when he's not working. Lately, when I text him, call him or Facetime him, he doesn't respond. Then, three days later, he will text back and ask when am I flying to him. I question him on why I haven't heard from him. His answer is always that he's been busy working. I've noticed that whenever I mention getting extra pay at work, he responds right away.

Deep down, my heart is saying that maybe he is a scammer and actually doesn't feel about me the way I'd hoped.

I get nostalgic looking back on how he treated me four months ago when we first started talking, and it's not the same.

Love Two Men

Dear Love Two: In case your heart isn't saying it loudly enough, I'll add my voice to the chorus: This man is a scammer. If that weren't reason enough to lose his number, there's also the fact of your marriage. You and your husband took vows, and that still means something, even if you've grown apart. You owe it to yourselves to try bridging the gulf. Tell him how you're longing for intimacy and affection; commit to marriage counsellin­g together.

If you've completely moved on and are going to continue seeing other men, OK, fine. But at least first give your husband the courtesy of a divorce — and don't give new suitors your credit card numbers, passwords, Social Security number, birthdate or other personal data.

Note these few additional tips, courtesy of law enforcemen­t officers: Beware if the individual seems too perfect.

Beware if the individual requests inappropri­ate photos or financial informatio­n.

Beware if the individual promises to meet in person but then always comes up with an excuse why he or she can't.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonist­s, visit the Creators Syndicate website at

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