Alone but not unloved

Dear Annie: Here’s a poem I wrote called “In the time of COVID.”

I got your hugs today not with your arms about my shoulders

but with your thoughts around my heart

they raised my spirits and hopes high

they crushed the loneliness and sadness of being shut down

a note to tell me that I am loved and thought of

a moment of your time to make my day

I thank you friend for care and love

that broke through that barrier of aloneness

that caused my heart to remember that with

friends, loved ones and God in my life

that I can go on and that I am never alone

Hugs

Dear Hugs: I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for this wonderful poem. May it be an inspiration to all those who feel alone — to know that they are loved.

Dear Annie: I find myself becoming apathetic toward my friend. We are both in our early to mid-20s, and where I have never been in a relationship, she is recently divorced. Initially, I was very supportive, offering to do whatever she needed help with. I volunteered to act as a distraction whenever she needed it.

Although her divorce was amicable at first, it has started turning messy. She is the one who initiated the divorce, and her ex-husband is reacting in what I would consider a reasonable manner. For instance, she wanted to stay best friends, but he did not. However, her reactions to these boundaries are shock and surprise, which I am having trouble understanding. It seems that all of our conversations have turned toward how much she hates him. I offered my support initially, but I am finding it harder and harder to do so. It is a constant negative presence, which she brought on herself, and I don’t understand why she can’t see that.

Aligning With Apathy

Dear Apathy: Try putting your thoughts down on paper and then expressing them to your friend. Being a good friend is not pretending that everything your friend is doing is OK. We all make mistakes, and sometimes it is up to our friends to point them out — lovingly, of course. But you are building up resentment toward your friend. She is clearly struggling right now. But she probably doesn’t realize the extent of her negativity. That’s when a friend’s tough love comes in handy.

Now, if she gets angry with you and continues on negative rants, then let her know that the toxic negativity cannot continue and that she has to accept her ex’s wishes to create boundaries. If she still gives you a hard time, then it’s time to give her some space.