How do I tell my kids our dog died?
Dear Annie: One of our two sweet dogs died recently. Do you have any suggestions for how to explain it to our two children, who are three and seven years old?
Explaining to Our Children
Dear Explaining: Losing a pet is always difficult. When explaining to your children, avoid saying that they just went to sleep; rather, tell them that they will not be physically coming back. Try to find children's books that address this issue. Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant is a great one. I also always find comfort in reading the classic Rainbow Bridge poem:
“Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
“All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
“They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
“You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
“Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together ...” Author unknown.
Dear Annie: Your advice to the gentleman who wrote about his fiancée's discomfort at family gatherings with his ex around was spot on. I would also have mentioned that, in addition to having been married to his first wife for more than 20 years, he has grown children with her, which may also mean shared grandchildren someday.
His fiancée could very well find herself with his ex at a Little League game or dance recital.
It would behoove her to understand that such a scenario is natural when married to someone who was formerly married, and all is OK.
Being Positive Helps
Dear Being Positive: What a wonderful perspective you have. Thank you for sharing.
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