Estate planning can save a lot of headaches

New book outlines the duties, pitfalls and time involved in being a liquidator

As prepared as you may think you are for the death of a parent, it can have impacts you never foresaw.

For longtime Montreal financial adviser David Edey, it brought estrangement from one of his siblings and an estate dispute that was in court for seven years and swallowed up $50,000 in lawyer's fees.

Since the death of his father a decade ago, less than a year after his mother, “we have not celebrated a holiday together as a complete family,” he said.

To help others equip themselves better for a task and process he found difficult, Edey has written a book, Executor Help: How to Settle an Estate, Pick an Executor and Avoid Family Fights, a useful guide on the duties and pitfalls of being an executor (generally known as liquidator in Quebec), written during the pandemic and launched this month at davidedey.com.

“It was stressful and messy,” Edey, 62, recalled in an interview. “I thought it was just us. But then I started hearing other people's stories. It's more prevalent than I thought.”

The fact his father had a will did not stop the contestation or defuse the hard feelings, Edey said. “People have their own interpretation of the will.”

There should also have been a conversation beforehand, so the parent could spell things out clearly for the family, but that didn't happen, he said.

It's not uncommon for old incidents and resentments — some dating as far back as childhood — to resurface in the aftermath of a parent's death. Even an equal sharing of estate proceeds won't necessarily satisfy everyone.

The book is divided into chapters with such titles as The Digital World, Cottages and Other Vacation Properties and How to Deal Effectively with Beneficiaries. There's even a section on what to do with pets.

The “estate triangle of conflict” is how Edey categorizes second marriages, entrenched family discord and failure to draft a will, all of which can add serious complications to settlement.

“Intensive care is not the place to discover Dad doesn't have a will,” he writes.

As an executor, he said, “be prepared to encounter human behaviour at its worst.”

It's not an easy job or one that everyone is cut out for, requiring more hours, administration, investigation, paperwork and professional advice than many people realize.

Some beneficiaries expect their share of an estate almost immediately, little realizing that it normally takes a year to 18 months to settle, he said.

Keeping them informed of the process step by step can be an effective way of quelling impatience. Maintaining a record of everything you do and when you do it also will show any doubters you're taking the job seriously, he said.

The deceased can do a lot to make it easier for the person or people they name as executor by leaving a detailed, updated listing of their recurring bills, subscriptions, memberships, credit cards, insurance providers, bank accounts and revenue sources, in addition to a will.

“Put it all in a bright-coloured folder or envelope, where it's easy to find by the right people, and tell your executor what to look for,” Edey said. “Nobody wants to be looking for something hidden in that moment.”

Digital assets and passwords have added a whole new challenge to estate settlement in recent years. An executor needs a full list of passwords for things like streaming services, Paypal or online gaming sites (where the deceased may have credits).

“Although it's never too early for estate planning, it can be too late,” Edey said.