Enjoy cruise, let others make own choices

Dear Annie: I have been going on a Super Bowl cruise for 14 years with the same group of people, including two couples and two ladies, one of whom is married and the other is single. We get together for breakfast every day, and then we break away and I hang out with one of the couples all day. The others usually find us in the afternoon and hang out with us. We split up several hours before dinner but eat dinner every night together.

Here is my problem. I have a friend coming on the cruise who got me into going on this trip more than 17 years ago. She is coming with some of her friends, and she’s only been on this cruise one other time since she stopped cruising about 10 years ago.

She and I know another couple who are our best friends. She talked to them about coming on the cruise. The wife didn’t really want to come, but her husband talked her into coming, telling her that the four of us would hang out.

My problem is that the cruising couple I have been hanging out with for the last 14 years and the other couple and the single girl coming on-board expect me to hang out with them.

The other couple I am close friends with knows the couple that I go on the cruise with, but I don’t think that the husband would want to hang out with them.

I have been on another vacation with this couple and the single girl and her same friends, and the husband didn’t want to hang out with those other folks all week, just us four.

How do I hang out with both couples?

I feel that I should say something to my friend, but I don’t know how to phrase it. I think he is going to get mad.

At Odds at Sea

Dear At Odds: Just because you know everyone coming on the cruise doesn’t mean it’s your job to play cruise director.

You don’t need to keep tabs on how the groups are getting along. Everyone coming aboard is an adult and is expected to act as such.

Enjoy your vacation and mingle with all your friends.

Extend invitations for dinner, excursions and outings to all and leave it up to each person to decide if they’d like to join you and whoever else is attending.

It’s possible this trip will spark new, genuine friendships.

If not, that’s OK, too. There are plenty of activities to take part in over the course of the cruise that will keep everyone busy and having fun, whether that’s alone, with you, with a significant other or with new-found friends.