Montreal Gazette

Bride walks fine line for pals

- ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at

Dear Abby: I recently started planning my wedding. Half the friends I want as bridesmaid­s are very conservati­ve. They think sex is sacred and should be talked about only discreetly, not joked about, mentioned on TV, etc. I used to hold similar views, but I no longer do. Neither do the other half of the girls I want as bridesmaid­s.

My dream bacheloret­te party is the kind you see in movies, a group of girls going out on the town getting tipsy — maybe being a little stupid (nothing dangerous) — with sexy games/favours and casually swapping sex tips and double entendres.

That may not be possible with my straitlace­d friends, whom I really like and hope to include. I pick up on others' feelings easily, so I can't ignore when someone around me is unhappy. I want all my girlfriend­s to enjoy the party, but two or three of them won't appreciate the humour of drinking from a phallus-shaped straw. Should I split the guest list and have one prudish party and one sexy one?

Good/bad Girl in the East

Dear Girl: That's an excellent idea. And we all know which one you are going to enjoy.

Dear Abby: I just found out my husband has been texting with his high school sweetheart for the last three years. He contacted her and shares all day-to-day activities, like our vacations, new dog, etc. She lives 4,000 kilometres away. She's divorced, retired like us and has children and grandchild­ren. I snooped and read his email.

I don't understand why he contacted her after so many years and why he shares everything with her, as we have a close relationsh­ip and share everything. He did mention a year ago that he was in touch with her. I didn't think much about it then, but now that I know how long this has been going on, I'm wondering why. Should I be concerned? Puzzled in Maine

Dear Puzzled: What is happening could be innocent, or it could be crossing a line. You will never know until you discuss this with your husband. You may not have to disclose that you read the texts if you say you recalled him mentioning that they were in touch “awhile back” and let the conversati­on evolve from there.

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