CORNER Disorderly Spring Cleaning

It was an innocent act of convenience and logic, but the results of my modest effort was the tip of the iceberg, the start of the avalanche and the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was in the middle of my daily 5 minute straighten-up, tidying the house and I had a damp microfiber cloth in my hand when I noticed paw and nose prints on the sliding patio door window where the cat and dog exit/enter the house. Not thinking about the consequences, I innocently wiped the dog’s nose prints and the cat’s paw prints from the door and that resulted in one window of many that was sparkling clean. That would make anyone with the slightest bit of Obsessive Compulsion Cleaning Disorder go crazy. Apparently, I have a slight bit of OCCD. Once a year I go nuts on the windows with hoses, brushes, a soap/ vinegar/water solution (secret recipe) and a squeegee with a good edge. One tip is to leave the hoses for the outside and use a pail of secret recipe when doing the interior windows. This prevents any extra mop-up work. The windows were sparkling and shiny enough to please my OCCD but the sliding patio door channels were grungy; that was easily vacuumed and then cleaned with a toothbrush and the secret recipe. A quick shot of WD40 and the cat and dog could almost open the sliding door themselves.

Now, I was in full tilt spring cleaning mode. The patio door’s windows were all sparkle-sparkly but the screens were dirtier than an old time hockey game. I tried to vacuum them but was not satisfied. Then I tried a lint roller that we use for pet hair control and I could not believe what a difference it made. My OCCD was satisfied with the results, so I decided to use this method on the other screen door in the basement. That is when I discovered I may suffer from another crippling disorder. I fully intended to use my new method of screen cleaning but when I walked by the boot rack I stopped and bent over to straighten the row and promptly forgot my original mission. I began to store the winter boots and get the sandals out for the season. The screen door cleaning chore was forgotten. I then realized I suffered from ADCD or Attention Deficit Cleaning Disorder which will result in a task being started but not completed because of even the smallest distraction…what was I saying? What happens then? At the end of the day nothing is completely done.

Spring cleaning will never be the same now that I have discovered my new cleaning syndromes. When you combine these minor personality flaws with the fact I am lazy there is only one logical solution: Prevention and maintenance! Keep something clean and you’ll never have to clean it. Wow, that sounds like a quote from Yogi Berra, but if I clean the cat’s paw print when it occurs instead of letting them accumulate into chore status the window will stay clean and it won’t be a chore to clean it. Sounds nice and logical but the lazy guy in me wants to let it slide …you know until… tomorrow and the OCCD guy in me needs to get it done now while the ADCD guy in me will begin the mission now and finish tomorrow…I am so confused and may need help! My beautiful Bride is usually caring and understanding but for some reason she has doubts about my self-diagnosis of OCCD and ADCD. But she is sure of one thing: I am lazy and invented these disorders to avoid spring cleaning. She is really smart.