Once A Year
It all started when we had to do the back to school ritual of shopping for school clothes and supplies for our two sons, some thirty years ago. The pens, paper and pencils were easy to supply as both Mrs. B and myself worked in offices… nudge nudge wink wink, even though all their notes were on stationary with some sort of corporate logo. We told them the company was kind of their sponsor and that seemed to answer their curiosity. Erasers and “whiteout” seemed to be our biggest expense. Even though the boys could do the writing, there seemed to be a lot of correcting…just like their daddy. After the school supplies were taken care of, the task of new clothes and shoes had to be addressed. With all the back to school sales, it was a good time to not only upgrade and replace clothing the kids had grown out of, but to do the same with our own wardrobes as well. I always joke at Christmas time that all I want are socks and underwear; the family knows it is a joke because of our back to school tradition of the entire family (most of us) getting new socks and underwear. What a special day when the boys and I went on our annual ‘socks and skivvies’ day. For some reason, still unknown to me, Mom seemed reluctant to be seen in the lady’s underwear section with any of us. Maybe we were too eager to help her make decisions. Now that I think about it as they both grew older, both boys seemed to be more reluctant to be seen in the whitey-tighty section with me. I wonder if that was because I would make them try stuff on and take things for a test walk. Every year at back to school time, I still go shopping for my socks and ginch, as I learned to call my briefs in Saskatchewan. Usually there are few decisions to be made. I seem to wear out about a six-pack of the same grey coloured work socks in a year. Even though they are mated when bought, they become singles the moment they are unpackaged. A drawer full of the same single socks…easy peasy, no decision, but(t) when it comes to my man-ties there seems to be trends that are both fashionable and practical.
How can a man’s shorts be fashionable, you ask? If you have ever shared a dressing room with a dozen or so team mates, you will know that there are a plethora of styles, colours and purposes. Once I thought my superhero boxers would be the envy of my fellow old timer hockey buddies, but I am sad to say, I suffered some ridicule and teasing, but at least they noticed! I have a pair of “athletic” designed underwear to be worn with my hockey equipment that helps prevent hamstring, quad and groin injuries. They have wide heavy elastic bands that keeps soggy old bottoms from sagging and even though I paid almost $90 for them, they do keep my butt and thighs tight and my old hammy appreciates the support. The cheapskate in me thinks I could have bought a lady’s girdle for a lot cheaper and accomplished the same thing, but if I thought superhero underwear got me teased, I can’t imagine what the dressing room would think of me in a lady’s girdle. Maybe if I dyed it black. Nope… that might give them more ammo.
New socks and tightie-whities (with no superhero designs) in my top drawer and I am rigged and ready for another year. Maybe next year superhero undies will be cool for old guys.