Book talks about problems men face with mental health issues
Men are less likely than women to ask for help if they are suffering mentally, statistics show, while many men suffer in silence because of this deeply rooted societal stigma.
Furthermore, most men will say they’ve spent their entire lives hiding their feelings, learning from the action — or inaction — of their fathers, mentors, and friends, that when it comes to mental health, vulnerability equals weakness.
To address this issue and give men tools to overcome the stigma, Allan Kehler, an author, advocate and motivational speaker from Saskatoon, has written MENtal Health: It’s Time to Talk. The book takes readers on a journey through the stories of 16 rural and urban Prairie men that are told in their own raw and honest words. The men have all persevered through various mental health challenges — including Kehler, along with Chris Beaudry, former assistant coach of the Humboldt Broncos — and together, they put a voice to issues such as masculinity, mental illness, addiction, sexual abuse, shame and suicide.
Kehler is one of Canada’s most sought-after speakers about mental health. Having learned valuable life lessons, he has produced three books, including Stepping Out from the Shadows: A Guide to Understanding and Healing from Addictions; Goodbye Stress, Hello Life!; and Born Resilient: True Stories of Life’s Greatest Challenges.
“Men are taught to be strong, powerful, brave, independent, and in control … ,” Kehler said. “Every child is a product of what (he or she) observe. Children and youth are always watching, and if men can’t model showing emotion and getting help, then why should young people?”
Readers can expect to find several ideas woven through each topic and story, such as:
• A better understanding of why men are closed off about their emotions;
• Acknowledging the human need to be seen, heard and understood;
• The importance and power of breaking down stereotypes;
• Why we need to change how we view mental health in the workplace;
• How talking can help balance energy in the body and the mind;
• Mental health resources including how to support a loved one with mental illness.
“If there’s one thing that men like to do, it’s to fix things,” said Kehler. “It’s too bad that mental health can’t be fixed with duct tape. The problem is that men don’t come equipped with the necessary tools to fix themselves. Meanwhile, they cling to the idea that their gender should make them strong enough to get through the darkest and deepest times of despair.”
The men in this book have chosen to speak because they understand that the conversation doesn’t start until someone starts talking, he continued. The time to talk is now.
“Today,” Kehler remarked, “we are the ones who will redefine what it means to be a man.”
Kehler grew up in Drake, Sask., and suffered from a mental illness when he was in high school. He went through this issue by himself for years and used various methods to cope with the pain, including prescription drugs and alcohol.
His path toward wellness didn’t start until he opened up and shared his story with others who were facing similar challenges.
“I know what it feels like to suffer in silence. There’s still so many men who carry their pain for so long,” Kehler said. “But I’m really seeing a lot of people who are reaching out for support, who are being vulnerable and I figured, what better way than to gather (men’s) stories so that (men) can connect in that way.” Well-known mental health advocate Michael Landsberg wrote the foreword to the book. Kehler pointed out Landsberg has paved the way for many men to voice their challenges. He has also said mental illness is not contagious, but sharing stories of pain and healing can be contagious. “That’s the power of this book,” Kehler added. MENtal Health: It’s Time to Talk can be found at all book stores or through Kehler’s website at www.outfromtheshadows.ca.